When our baby boy was a few weeks old, I started to worry a little that he was going to be a little pickle who didn’t want to be put down. He only seemed happy in our arms, he hated his bouncy chair, he wouldn’t go on his mat, and would only sleep on the bed during the day if he was fast asleep when we put him down. I relished the cuddles and the snuggles, I loved the fact that he wanted to be in our arms, but there was a small part of me that would have liked him to go in his chair for a bit.
It’s funny how quickly things change. At twelve weeks he is a completely different baby. I look back and in a way I am glad that he was like that to begin with. We spent the first few weeks with him not really leaving my arms. We spent hours on the sofa together, watching reruns of Gossip Girl or countless You Tube videos. We spent the first few weeks in a glorious, lazy newborn haze, where we felt deliriously tired but deliriously happy.
I can’t pinpoint when it changed. Five weeks post partum came and I started driving again. Six weeks post partum and we got signed off from the GP. The two hourly wake ups in the night slowly went to three hourly wake ups, then four. I thought I wouldn’t ever feel normal again as it took me a lot longer to recover, then suddenly I realised I felt fine and couldn’t remember when it changed. Life just seemed to get back to normal. Albeit with a newborn in it.
And somewhere along the line this boy just became happy. Dare I say it without tempting fate, he became chilled out. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a baby and he still gets unsettled, he still cries if he’s hungry or over stimulated. But his limit of ten minutes max on his play mat became half an hour max on his play mat, then longer still. He no longer only slept on me, I could put him down on the sofa in the afternoon and he would sometimes sleep half an hour, sometimes as many as three hours. He’s in no sort of routine yet, sometimes he still sleeps all day, sometimes he hardly sleeps at all. But he’s a happy boy.
He quite honestly doesn’t stop smiling. He does these hilarious little smiles which light up his face and he almost wiggles his whole body in excitement. He generally doesn’t stop smiling and he waits with this anticipation on his face for someone to pay him attention. As yet he still hasn’t laughed, but he is so close. We have had a few almost laughs, generally when you tickle him or make funny noises at him. He truly is a delight to have around. I am relishing every single second of it.
I read this post from Chloe earlier in the week and it really resonated with me. In it she talks about the third baby and how this time around it just feels even more precious. I completely understand what she meant when she wrote that post. This time around I am so acutely aware of the passing of time. How if I blink I will miss it. I just cannot get enough of him. Life has to go on and I can’t sit on the sofa with him forever. I have to try and get him to nap not in my arms as I have work to do, a house to tidy or two little girls to love. But I soak up every single moment I can with him. He is pure joy and I am absolutely loving the chance to do it all again for the last time.
He’s at that stage where he is on the cusp between still being a bit of a sleepy newborn and beginning to be a baby on the verge of discovery. It’s a lovely age. He still snuggles and sleeps on me after a feed, yet he has longer periods of being awake and looking around. And he pulls the funniest faces. He constantly looks a little shocked, he still startles a bit when he is a loud noise and he has the most expressive big blue eyes. He has found his legs and he kicks non stop, getting himself excited as he does so.
Yesterday we were lying on our bed in the morning and I had to take some photos of him. They aren’t the best quality as they were with my phone but I just love them. He’s developing into such a little character and I quite honestly can’t get enough of him.