It’s been a funny old week here. I have a tendency to let how I am feeling reflect on my blog and in what I write and share. I’ve been feeling quite anxious this week, nothing serious but as such I haven’t felt like writing much. I am a natural born worrier and since having children this has got a lot worse. We’ve been really busy at home and I’ve been spending quite a lot of nights awake, either worrying about things or just generally thinking about the long to do list I have in my head. It feels never ending and as such can make me feel quite overwhelmed. I’ve spent a lot of this week feeling overwhelmed- I can’t quite pinpoint my emotions but I just have felt a little tense and on edge, whether that’s because we have been busy, I have had lots of work to do, the awful events in London, or just all of that put together I don’t know, but I definitely haven’t felt quite right.
I’ve also quite frankly been struggling a bit recently with my blog and getting the balance right. I’ve been blogging for six years now, in fact I wrote my very first post on the 28th March 2011. That’s by far the longest I have ever stuck at a hobby, a hobby which I have been fortunate enough has become my job, and I can’t explain how thankful I am for that. Without a word of a lie, I think to myself at least four times a day how lucky I am to have started this blog. It’s my passion, it’s our family memories, it’s my fourth baby and it’s my work. I am so grateful for it, for every single bit of it. Recently though I’ve struggled a little about what to actually write about. I’ve gone through this before, many a time, in the six years I’ve been doing it. I go through little ruts where I wonder what to say. One huge aspect of it this time around is the weather- the weather has been utterly dreadful and it means I just haven’t been out and about taking my camera with me. I cannot wait for Spring to properly arrive so we can go out and enjoy it- lighter evenings are most welcome around here.
Another big part of it is making videos. For a long time I didn’t make videos on my You Tube channel, bar when we went away, but I’ve been doing a weekly ‘day in the life’ video over on You Tube. I love them, alongside photography making videos is my most favourite thing to do and I am absolutely loving doing it. I am loving pushing myself video wise and creating mini family movies for us to treasure forever. Coupled with that a lot of brand collaborations recently have meant doing videos, and anyone who makes them knows how consuming making and editing videos are. It takes up a lot of time, quite often the free time that we have at a weekend can be spent making a video, meaning that I am not getting out there and doing stuff for my blog if that makes sense? I really need to get the balance right between making videos and writing blog posts, as this blog will always be my number one love. It’s how I started in this crazy online world and I don’t want to neglect it. The way in which we document has changed over the years I’ve been blogging. I write mini blog posts over on Instagram every day, Instagram had become a way of sharing our lives and as such it’s harder to think of different thing last to write about on my blog too.
We have got some incredibly exciting adventures coming up, in fact a big adventure that I have been wanting to do ever since I was a little girl, so soon this blog will be back to it’s usual self and I will get writing on it properly again soon. I can’t wait to get my camera out now the weather is getting nice, getting outside and having adventures a little more- whether those are ordinary ones or not so ordinary. Yesterday we spent the day at the seaside and we bundled three tired children into bed at 9pm, it was a little teaser that summer is on the horizon and we can start to get out and about and enjoy our time together as a family. I can’t wait.
I awoke to two little girls in our bed this morning as we let them have the ultimate treat of sleeping with us last night, and after getting our baby boy from his cot we had a snuggly slow start to the day. I then came downstairs to some flowers and some lovely handmade cards from them, plus a treat breakfast of ice cream and waffles. It’s been a lovely morning so far, I am so grateful that I get to raise these three little people. It’s not always easy but it is the greatest privilege.
Happy Mother’s Day to you all. I hope you have a great day with your families and sending love if you are missing someone special. xx