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{The Ordinary Moments 14} #12 'How To Make Cakes Unsuitable For Pinterest.'

on Sunday, 23 March 2014.

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Concentration face.

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Pretty colours.

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Cheeky licking the bowl face.

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My Mother in Law got us matching aprons for Christmas- obviously totally rocking them.  Kind of. 

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Our finished creations.

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Myself and the kitchen don't get on all that well.  

Of course I go in there occasionally, to get a diet coke from the fridge or a biscuit from the cupboard.  I can just about rustle up dinner for the girls, and I am pretty skilled at putting a frozen pizza in the oven.  But anything asides from that is Mr E's job.  He does the cooking, I do the cleaning, and that's the way it's always been.

One of the first meals I ever cooked him back in the day was good old Spag Bol.  I forgot to take the paper layer off the mince so we were pulling it out of our mouths for the rest of the meal.  I have lost count of the amount of cakes I have made that I have burnt to a cinder or rock hard cookies that we have nearly broken a tooth on.  Baking is definitely not my strong point.

Every so often though I do try and do some baking with Mads as she doesn't care that her Mummy is a disaster chef.  So yesterday we decided that we would rock our matching aprons and make some rainbow cakes.

We had a great time together.  She loves the special time with Mummy, and was so excited.  She spent absolutely ages spooning the mixture into the cupcake cases, and every so often when she thought I wasn't looking I would catch her with her finger right in the middle of the full bowl.  We got more hundreds and thousands on the floor than on the cakes, and more buttercream in our mouths, but we had fun and that's all that matters.

 

She is getting so grown up now, and yesterday was just a perfectly ordinary but lovely day.  Mr E and I laughed at her all day long as she chattered ten to the dozen, and ran about non stop.  She is at an age where she drives us mad one minute and then literally switches to the most affectionate, sweet little girl ever.  I love watching her take in the world around her- how even the most simple things make her so excited. 

She constantly tells me that 'we are best friends forever' and I really do hope that is the case.  I am so thankful that I get to be the one that is her Mummy.  Even if it means I have to go in the kitchen occasionally!*

 

*These creations weren't actually that bad.  Although I don't think Mary Berry is too frightened of us stealing her crown just yet.

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Run Run Run...

on Friday, 21 March 2014.

Back in January of this year, I decided I wanted to change my lifestyle.  I had got myself into a bit of a rut of eating badly and not doing any exercise.  I have never been overweight but I was at my heaviest since having LL, and was also seriously unfit.  I just generally wasn't healthy at all.  After many wasted gym memberships over the years, I didn't hold out much hope, but suprisingly I have stuck at it so far.

On my first day of my new mission, I made the rookie error of getting on my gym gear, only to find out the gym was in actual fact closed.  As I had psyched myself up I didn't want to let my new found enthusiasm go to waste, so I decided to run around the block.  Bearing in mind I have never ever run before (unless a wasp was chasing me or I thought that the shop was about to shut and I wouldn't be able to buy chocolate), I wasn't holding out much hope.  But that first night I ran a slow mile, and I actually really enjoyed it.  Since then I have begun to run regularly and I can honestly say it has changed my life. 

I have lost inches off my waist, lost a stone in eight weeks, and I just feel healthier.  I have a lot more energy, I feel less lethargic and my mind feels more active.  I find that running helps me, it's almost a form of therapy- I stick my headphones on, listen to some music as loud as I can, and just run whereever my legs will take me.  It helps clear my head and if I am in a bad mood when I set off, I can guarantee that I will feel better by the time I have finished. 

The Benefits of running

After years of being inactive and losing confidence in myself since becoming a Mum, I am really enjoying feeling a bit stronger.  I am pushing myself and my body and have no plans to stop.  I have signed up for a 10k race in June, and two half marathons in August and October.  If you had told me twelve weeks ago I would be signing up for a half marathon I would have choked on my chocolate bar in shock.  I am running these races to raise money for The Lullaby Trust in honour of Matilda Mae, to show Jennie that she hasn't been far from my thoughts this past year.  If anyone wants to sponsor me, even if it's a few pennies that would be amazing.

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(Looking exceptionally awkward about being in a photo without a small child.)

I know when you aren't interested in a certain exercise, it can be a little nauseating to hear other people's workouts.  I am not trying to be smug, I am not fit at all, but I genuinely am feeling really proud and I have decided I want to document my running journey on my blog occasionally.  I have had some really lovely emails and messages from other Mums who have been inspired to start running from seeing my photos and posts and so I thought that it would be nice to look back on.  I have also found lots of ladies who I didn't realise ran and have been completely inspired by them too.

It really is only the start of my running journey, and I am still a complete beginner, but I am looking forward to where this new fitness journey will take me.  I know that if I manage to train and complete that first half marathon in August then I will feel like the proudest person alive.  It isn't a lot compared to some, but for someone who has never really been into exercise, it will feel like the biggest achievement to me.

 

You are 38 Months...

on Wednesday, 19 March 2014.

To my big girl,

First things first, check out the photo below.  It's of you, and wow you are looking at the camera and smiling.  Mummy nearly jumped for joy when she took this photo of you.  You tolerate the camera most of the time, but ask you to look at it and smile and you plaster on the biggest, fakest grin imaginable.  I can rarely get a photo of you looking at the camera and smiling your beautiful natural smile, so to say I love this photo is an understatement.  

When I look at it, two things strike me the most.  Firstly your wonderful hair- your wild unruly curls.  I couldn't love them anymore.  They drive me mad on a daily basis and every morning we have a fight about brushing them, you say 'please can I have it scruffy today Mummy?' meaning that we don't put it up.  You hate having it brushed, put in a top knot or having it washed.  The problem is it gets so tangly that it hurts you and we end up having to have a mammoth brushing session that results in tears.  Still I adore it and I won't cut even if it goes all straggly at the ends.  Mummy had hair like you until Grandma got it cut when I was ten into a bob (although the boys at school liked to call me helmet head!) and the curls never grew back.  I love my curly haired girl.

The second thing that strikes me is how grown up you are.  You officially are a little girl.  You have been for some time, but there is no ounce of toddler left in you now.  You are growing up so quickly and looking at this photo makes me feel a little sentimental.  Where did my baby go?  You are the funniest little person nowadays, making us laugh constantly.  You have the cheekiest, most bizarre little personality, and you come up with the most crazy songs and sayings.  We will laugh and then you will laugh your big belly laugh, and make us laugh even more.  

You talk ten to the dozen and sometimes I wish you had an off switch so we could have a moments peace.  You chatter chatter chatter all day long and come out with the funniest things.  The other day when LL had a nice outfit on you said 'Wow doesn't LL look snazzy.'  And then another day you said 'Let me see your teeth,'  to which I showed you and you replied 'You have pink teeth'  (meaning my gums) and then you said ' I really think you need to give them a brush.'  You pretty much pronounce all your words properly now except in the evenings when we sit down to read you say 'Are you sitting comferly?' instead of comfortably.  You also pronounce cuddlle as 'cuggle'- I never want you to stop saying it like that.

This month your favourite toys to pay with are your Toy Story characters, you love Toy Story and so we got you a little Woody, Buzz, Rex and Bullseye.  You also love to cut things with your scissors and will sit for ages and just chop up different bits of paper.  You love to play with play dough, and constantly ask us to get it out even though you make a complete mess each time and trample it into our cream carpet!  

You still love to watch You Tube and will watch some bizarre things on there, a favourite still being watching chocolate eggs being unwrapped.  Completely strange but you love it and so we let you watch it for a little while each day.  Mummy sits with you and watches what you watch but the other day you said the strangest thing.  I was getting you out of the car seat, and you shouted 'You will never take me alive!' at the top of your voice before dissolving into giggles.  I have no idea where it came from, unless it was from someone at nursery with an older brother or sister, so the only thing I can think is that you must have watched it somewhere.  It made me laugh at the time because it was so out of the blue, but I would rather you didn't say it again!

You adore your little sister so much and it is so lovely to see.  LL is going through a funny phase where she will only tolerate you in small doses and sometimes I feel a bit sad because you want to cuddle her but all she wants is Mummy.  You don't understand and just want to cuddle her non stop, and I feel sorry for you when she cries and pushes you away.  You are so cuddly and affectionate, and I hope that you will never lose that trait.  You still love playing with ears and will now ask me 'Mummy can I play with your ear?' and will snuggle on my knee and cuddle and stroke. 

You have your moments, where you drive me crazy and can be naughty or push the boundaries but for the most part you are actually a really good little girl.  You are at an age now where you listen to me (sometimes) if I tell you off and generally I can stop you from doing something, although every now and again we have days where you just whine and test my patience a lot.  Mostly though, we just have lots of fun together, and you make me laugh non stop.  

You are a silly, feisty, funny, strange little person.  But you are my little person and I love you for that. 

I love you, always and forever.

But as always, you already knew that.

Mummy

xxx

38monthsmads

{The Ordinary Moments 14} #11 'These Little Faces'

on Sunday, 16 March 2014.

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These little faces...

 

These little faces are full of innocence.  They know nothing of the bad in the world, all they see is good.  They are pure, unspoilt, free from lines, freckles from the sun and blemishes.  There are no scars yet, no war wounds from a falling off their bike incident.  They believe in the good in people and that the little things are the most magical.  Sometimes I think I could learn from them.  They are a blank canvas, it's our job to help guide them.

These little faces are full of happiness.  They smile and laugh constantly, their big blue eyes dance around and their little noses scrunch up in delight.  To see them happy, running excitedly as we chase them, swinging high and giggling on the swings, and letting out big belly laughs as we tickle them is quite possibly the best feeling in the world.  To experience their happiness makes everything worthwhile. 

These little faces can be sad.  They can be scared, or poorly, or just want to cry.  Big, salty wet tears can fall down their chubby cheeks,  or collect in their beautiful long eyelashes.  These faces fit perfectly into the nook of my arm, their legs wrapped round my body, where I can gently rock them back and forth, back and forth.  I can stroke their hair, wipe away their tears and tell them that it's going to be ok.  I would hold them like that every single second if I could, feeling their little hearts beat beat beating against my own. I like that I am the one who can make everything better.

These little faces can make me so frustrated.  They make me mad, angry and I can feel like the world is against me.  They can be angry, screw up in a grimace when they have a tantrum or a strop, and they can make me literally count the seconds until bedtime.  But once they are asleep and I sit down on the sofa and breathe a sigh of relief, it's not long before I want to see them again.  To hold them.  I miss them while they are sleeping, and I often go into their rooms and wish I could wake them up for a cuddle.  These little faces look oh so peaceful when they are asleep. I would love to know what they dream about. 

These little faces make me feel such a mixture of emotions.  I have never experienced a love like it, so pure and unconditional.  They have made me realise what it is like to experience the truest form of love- a love where there is nothing you wouldn't do, or give up for them.  They can make me feel on top of the world, feel euphoric and feel a high like no other.  Yet just like a drug, they can make me feel at my lowest, make me feel like I am failing them.  Have I not played with them enough that day?  Should I have lost my patience over something so small?  They make my insecurities, my fears, and my anxiety go to a whole new level.  They make me realise my faults, yet they have also made me a better person.

These little faces will grow up.  They will change, they will mature.  Their little milk teeth will be replaced with gaps, before turning into adult ones.  Their smiles will change, and with it a little bit of their personalities too.  They will lose that wonderful stage where they have no inhibitions and where their whole heart belongs to their Mummy and Daddy.  Play Dough and dolls will be swapped for make up and gossiping with friends.  In the future they may even have their own families, feel all the things I am feeling now.  The years will fly by, they will grow, and I will be left wondering why time goes so damn quickly.  Why it is so fleeting.  I will be left with all the thousands of photos I took of their beautiful childhood years.  And the amazing memories. 

Of those pure, beautiful little faces.

The little faces of my daughters. 

 

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