Having Another Little Girl...
I have been thinking a lot recently about the fact that we are going to soon have another little girl enter our family.
I would have been just as thrilled to have a boy, and I know Mr E would have loved a little partner in crime to take to football, or go mountain biking with, but when we heard the words 'It's a little girl' at my 20 week scan, I must admit that my heart did a little jump.
You see, I don't know whether it is because I have a sister, but I have always envisaged two little girls in my family. Two little girls with sweet blondy brown curls and big blue eyes, running hand in hand through the park with pretty summer dresses on. Two little girls playing together, sharing everything together, and being the best of friends as they grow older. I literally can picture it in my head, like something off of a cheesy hallmark birthday card.
I hope that the fact we haven't got much of an age gap means that Mads and Bug will be the best of friends growing up, I hope that they will play dolls, and kitchens, and make believe up an enchanted world full of princesses and unicorns. As they get older I hope that they will share clothes, share makeup and share secrets about boys. I just hope that they will have a deep bond.
But at the same time, although in my head I can picture a wonderful life, I am also a little bit nervous about having another girl.
I studied psychology at university and family dymnamics and motherhood was something that really fascinated me. I was chatting to my lovely friend Lucy the other day as she has just had a little girl so she now has one of each, and we were talking about the dynamics of motherhood and how when children are young they live up to the set cliches- a prime example would be that in my NCT group nearly all the boys are Mummy's boys, and the girls are a lot more independent. The boys seem to be much more needy to their Mums at this stage, while the girls are all definitely in love with their Daddies. They really do tie in to the traditional roles that you would imagine.
If I had found out I was having a boy this time around, then I would have a completely different parenting experience. But I am not. I am having another little lady and I can't stop thinking about them as they grow up.
Mads is so independent now, she always has been, and although she is incredibly affectionate and constantly asks for cuddles and kisses, she is also a very tough cookie. She is the first one off in soft play, she has always happily gone to anyone who wanted a cuddle and she is totally and utterly head over heels in love with her Daddy.
Her and my husband share a bond like no other, it is plain to see for miles around. She calls out for him first thing in the morning, always asks to play with his ears, (her comfort) and follows him around like she is his shadow. Of course sometimes only Mummy will do, but Daddy is her favourite and she is the apple of his eye. This has never bothered me before, in fact I have embraced and nurtured this bond as it makes me happy to see the two people I love most in the world be so close, but I do feel a little nervous about when Little Girl No 2 arrives.
Will it be the same and will we have another Daddy's Girl? Will that affect Mads and Mr E's bond? Will we compare them constantly? If we had been having a boy then it would be easy to think differently but with a little girl will we draw comparisons? Mads sleeps more than any other child I know- will this one do the same? Will she be as laid back as her sister?
I have a sister who I adore, but she is ten years younger than me. Therefore my Mum has a very different relationship with us both. Anna is the 'baby' and can do no wrong in her eyes, yet whenever we discuss it she also says that she is a lot less needy than I am- I call my Mum every day without fail whereas Anna is a bit tougher than me. She is best friends with us both, but obviously we have different conversations and different interests being that we are ten years apart. Her parenting is very different to us both. For ten years it was just me around, and then Anna had her undivided attention when I flew the nest and went off to university.
But I often think about how it will be for me as they both grow older. I have grown up wanting to have the same relationship with my little girl as I do with my Mum- we are the best of friends. But I will have two close in age- will I be closer to one? Be best friends with one and not the other? Or will all three of us be as close as can be?
I know these things are so far in the future, but I can't help but wonder what it will be like being a Mum to two little ladies? One little lady has been our whole focus for nearly two years, it feels really strange to know that there will soon be another little girl with a completely different personality to her big sister joining our family unit.
Apparently the 'easiest' family dynamic is two girls according to recent research but I can't help feeling nervous about having another little lady just because I adore MY little girl so much already- it is hard to imagine having enough love to go round. In a strange sort of way having a boy would have meant a different set of challenges, a new way of parenting and as they grew up, a different kind of bond- I know that may sound crazy.
Yet I know as soon as our new little pink bundle arrives it will feel like she has been a part of our lives forever. I can't wait for the bond she will hopefully have with her big sister, and I can't wait to have that family life that I have so often pictured.
And at the very least I know what to do with little girl bits- a willy- now that would just scare me!