The Night Before Bug...

Dearest Bug,

This is the first letter your Mummy will write to you, just like I did with your big sister.  Two years ago on the 23rd December 2010 I wrote my first letter to Mads, in a little card- I told her how much I loved her and that I hope she would arrive safe, and how I hoped that I would be the best Mummy I could be for her.  The next day she arrived into the world.

And now it is your turn.  Knowing the day you are arriving is a funny old thing, but it means I can be prepared.  As I sit here, I know that tomorrow myself and Daddy will be making the short journey to our hospital, and while we are there you will be born.

I pray that you will arrive safely, thats all that matters to me.  I will lie on the table in the operating theatre, and the situation will be totally out of my control- I will be putting all my trust and faith into the amazing doctors and nurses who will deliver you to us- out of that little place you have been calling home for the last nine months, and into my arms.  I will wait, my heart pounding and without taking a breath, until I hear you take your first cry.  There is no sweeter sound in the world than that.

We have had a lovely nine months me and you.  We had a bit of drama at the start when the doctor told me I wasn't pregnant when I was, but deep down I knew.  I knew you were in there, even if you were the size of a poppy seed.  Call it a Mummy's instinct.  And when a blood test confirmed it, I just willed you to grow big and strong.  

It's different being pregnant the second time.  I still worry about you, of course I do, as I don't think I am a particularly sane pregnant person.  But whereas with your big sister I had oodles of time to just sit and think, with you I haven't had that luxury as I have had a toddler to look after.  But that doesn't mean we haven't bonded, you kick and move non stop and I have relished every single movement that you do.  Mads didn't move much at all and I was on weekly monitoring with her, but to have you kick, punch, swirl and wiggle is the most incredible feeling- I often lie there and just take every single moment of it in- it is the most amazing miracle and one that I will remember as the best thing about being pregnant.

You haven't caused Mummy much trouble at all, unlike your big sister!  We have only had to go to the hospital once for monitoring, you didn't make Mummy sick apart from the odd bit of nausea at the start, and apart from a very achy back, you and I have been getting on just fine.  I will miss being pregnant, especially as it is very unlikely we will have any more babies, so I want you to know that you have been an absolute pleasure to grow the last nine months and I will miss having you in my tummy all cosy and tight.  

When we found out you were a girl, I cried tears of happiness.  I always imagined having little ladies, and to have two of them, well what a complete honour.  I hope that the three of us grow up the best of friends, poor Daddy will have to get a hobby or spend some nights down the pub with all these ladies in the house!

I cannot wait to meet you now.  I have wondered so much about you, will you be like your sister and come out with loads of dark hair?  Will you have blue eyes and curly hair like her?  Or will you look completely different?  Will you be as big as Mads?  Or smaller?  All of these things I am so excited to find out, but rest assured I know that we will love you to pieces.  In fact we love you already.

As I go up to bed for what I can imagine will be a very restless nights sleep, I will try and close my eyes and try and make the time go quick, so it can be the morning of the day I get to meet my little girl.  

And that little girl is you- my darling Bug.  Whose name we have known since the start but haven't wanted to call you until you were officially here and in our arms.  Where you belong.

Can't wait to meet you tomorrow, have a safe journey baby girl.

I love you already,

Mummy. x

When we first announced you to the world- we have lots of memories already!