My Dearest Big Girl,

Another month, another letter written to you by Mummy.  I can't quite believe I have written you 29 letters now, if you count the one I wrote to you the night before you were born.  Every time I look at you I swear you have grown just that little bit bigger.  It doesn't help that your speech is so good- you feel like a little girl way beyond your years.

I have been trying to keep a track of some funny things you have said this month- although I managed to break my phone and therefore lost some of the notes I had been recording.  I have a few though, hearing you say silly things makes my heart sing- I love your complete and utter innocence and the way in which you look at life.

1. 'You will never ever ever ever find my bum.'  You were naked and Daddy kept pretending to go and try and pinch your bottom.  You sat down on your horse so obviously your bottom was covered and said those words in the most indignant, cross voice with your hands crossed.  It was so funny.

2.  'Oh yes that's where my pink buttons live, they live in my tummy.'  Auntie Paula bought you some pink chocolate buttons when you went there one Thursday and you asked the next day where they were.  I said that they were in your tummy and you said this.  Very cute!

3.  'I like your bits Daddy, you have big bits.'  I was sitting on the bed feeding Baby LL and you were in the bath with Daddy when I heard you say this.  There was a big pause while Daddy obviously figured out the best thing to say.  I absolutely love your innocence, I just wish you didn't have to lose it one day.

4.  'Mummy Baby LL is crying, I think she's got windy pops.'  I always say LL has windy pops when she is crying and you must have picked up on it, so cute, and then you patted her on the back to burp her for me.

This is just a few of the hundreds of funny things you come out with, I really am trying to keep a record of them so you can see how much you made us laugh.  You really are a little character and we are so proud of you for your speech.

This month we started potty training you- I wasn't going to just yet but one day you decided you wanted to do a wee in the potty and that was it.  The first week you were amazing with only a couple of accidents but this past week hasn't been so good- you get distracted when we go out or if you are engrossed in something.  We are going to keep perservering though as I know you can do it- I am so proud of you so far.

Another thing that has struck me this month is just how affectionate you are, especially with babies.  A few friends have had babies recently, and obviously we have LL and you are just such a little Mummy around them- you fuss over them all, stroke their heads and play with their ears, and cuddle them all.  It warms my heart to see you like that with them, you are such a kind hearted soul.

You are still being a monkey with your food- in fact you could be getting worse.  You only eat about four different meals- 'Daddy's ghetti', Fish Pie, Risotto and Pizza.  You turn your nose up at everything else and won't even try it.  We are hoping it is just a phase.  You would eat grapes and sweet things until you popped.

You are just such a little character and you make me smile many times a day.  You also drive me up the wall, but you drive me up a wall in the way that secretly I find you funny at the same time.  I try and put on my stern Mummy voice when you are being naughty but you are so amusing with it sometimes I fail.  Words cannot express how proud I am of you for the little person you are becoming.  I can tell that we are going to have some serious fun in the future.  

You make my day's better.  Even though they are tiring and at times stressful, you always give me a reason to be cheerful.  

You make me a better person just by being your Mama.  I see the beauty in things more than I used too.  Even the silly little things.  I have a huge amount to be thankful for, and most of that has come because of you.  You came into the world, turned Daddy and I's lives upside down- our little whirlwind.  We can't get enough of you.

Mummy loves you more than anything in the world.  But as always you already knew that.

Mummy

xx

My Dearest Mads,

27 months.  27 months of you being here with us.  Really it isn't that long, but it feels like forever.  I cannot imagine life without you now.  You are only 27 months but since your little sister came along you seem to have become more grown up overnight.  You have shot up in height, gone is the tubby baby weight and instead you look like a little girl.  Your hair is growing, and I hate to say it but your beautiful ringlets aren't as curly as they used to be, your hair is still very curly but as it grows they seem to be losing some of their tightness.  You speak like a little girl and you act like a little girl beyond your years- you are so grown up now and sometimes I look at you and can't believe you are only 27 months.

Compared to your friends your speech is so advanced.  There isn't anything you can't say and you form full sentences now.  In fact the only thing you can't say is Grandma- you call her Bum Bum.  But I don't know if you do that deliberately!  You say the funniest and cutest things and every time you say something that makes me laugh I think I must write it down so I don't forget.  But I do often forget to do it.  I can't remember them all but the other day Mummy shut the curtains in our bedroom as the light was too bright outside.  You said 'Mummy turn the dark off please, it's daytime.'  We bought some Chorizo from Tescos for our risotto and you said 'Mummy give me the big sausage please.'  Daddy's face looked a picture at that one.   You say to me 'Baby LL eats Mummy's boobie' when I am feeding her.

You are so polite and say please and thank you to everything.  You are also incredibly affectionate- with your little sister, your Daddy, me and your Grandma- anyone close to you.  You haven't grown out of your stroking ears habit yet, in fact it seems to have become even stronger.  Your favourite ears to stroke are your baby sister's, you love to snuggle close to Mummy while she is feeding her and just gently play with her ear.  I am so proud of how you have accepted LL into our family- you have never once shown an ounce of jealousy to her and you constantly say 'I love Baby LL' or 'Mummy can I cuddle Baby LL.'  In the mornings when you come into our room you always ask for her.

You can be a feisty little thing,  you often have mini fits if you don't get your own way.  I woudn't say that you have full on tantrums a lot, but you definitely like to have a shout or a paddy if something isn't to your satistfaction!  One thing you have started this month is saying 'Mummy get me this NOW' or 'Daddy Biscuit NOW' which we are trying to get you out the habit of saying- you cheeky madam!  You also like to say 'last one' and put your little finger in the air and point it at Mummy if I say you can't have another biscuit or can't do something- your little face is always a picture.  We also need to make you learn how to say he or she, at the moment if LL cries you say 'Mummy feed it' or if we see someone doing something you say 'Mummy what's it doing?' rather than he or she!

You have a better wardrobe than me thanks mostly to Auntie Emma, Auntie Paula and Grandma who often buy you clothes- in fact I am jealous of your outfits, you are proving to be one trendy little miss.  Daddy secretly wanted one of you to be a tom boy but I don't think that he is going to get that with you- you love helping Mummy put on her make up every morning, and love anything girly or pink.

You are my wonderful big girl, and every day that passes me gives me a glimpse into the future. That we are going to be, and already are, the best of friends.  As I was changing your nappy earlier you said to me 'Mummy we are best friends.'  And I couldn't agree more.  The fun we have together, and the love I have for you increases every day.  You are a funny, cheeky, feisty little character and I am so incredibly proud to be your Mama.  

Mummy loves you more than anything in the world.  But as always you already knew that.

Mummy

xx

My Dearest Mads,

Another month has passed and I am sat here writing you your twenty six month letter.  I can't believe another month has gone by, time seems to be going so quickly.  This month has most certainly been a milestone for you- it is the month you became a big sister.

On the 11th February I kissed you goodbye as you ran into Grandma's house, excited to start your day together.  As I kissed you, I burst into tears, and you said 'What's wrong Mummy,' your little face full of concern.  You were no longer going to be my one and only, in a few hours we would have another daughter to look after, love and cherish.  And while I was incredibly excited to meet your little sister, at the same time I wanted to freeze time and have you as my only baby for just a little while longer.

But I couldn't do that.  So I kissed your little face, and walked crying back down the drive.  A few hours later and your little sister was born.  And I loved her instantly, just like I did you.  But this time, the first time I held her, I not only took every inch of her in, I also thought about you- my big girl waiting at home.

The next day you came to meet her and I couldn't have pictured a more perfect scene.  I heard you before I saw you, your little grey boots stomping down the corridor, and then like a whirlwind you arrived, your little head poking out from behind the cubicle curtain.  And just like that before you even said hello you shouted your little sister's name and ran over to her cot, clutching a present for her that you had bought with Auntie Emma.  

And you cuddled her, and kissed her, stroked her face and played with her ear.  And just like that I fell in love with you even more.  If that was possible.  My caring, affectionate, lovely and beautiful big girl.  You made me more proud than a Mama could ever possibly be and I thank you for that moment, I will treasure it forever.

LL has been in our lives two weeks now and you continue to make me proud.  You have adjusted so well to her being here, you continue to be caring and kind, and you continue to love your sister so.  You giggle when she hiccups, you constantly ask to 'hold it' (even though we have told you numerous times that it is hold 'her!') and you stroke and play with her little ear.  

You have had a couple of days where you have played up a bit, or been a bit hyper, or been a bit more teary than normal, but on the whole you have been incredible.  

Next week is the first week that I haven't had any help and I am so nervous about having you both on my own.  I know I will cope with it just fine, but the person I am most worried about is you.  You and Daddy have been even more close the past two weeks, and I worry about giving you the attention and love you deserve when we are all on our own together, especially when I am confined to the sofa feeding LL.  I know we will work it out just fine, but I can't help but already feel guilty that I am not spending as much time with you as I used too.

I want you to know how much I love you, and how proud I am of you for being the worlds best big sister.  I know that you will have to share my love a bit more now, but you need not worry- since having LL the love I have for you has grown even more.  You are an incredible little girl.

Mummy loves you more than anything in the world.  But as always you already knew that.

Mummy

xx

To my dearest little lady,

25 months.  Another month has gone past and now you are officially well into the swing of being two.  Two has so far bought a huge amount of joy, excitement, new things and with it a little bit of the 'terrible two's' that are known far and wide.

You are certainly not terrible, you are a very independant, good, well behaved little girl but you are most definitely learning to 'test' your boundaries.  Although they are not very often you can have almighty tantrums, almost over nothing.  They are normally when you are tired or feeling under the weather.  You really have a strong opinion, which Mummy kind of likes, but you really will not take no for an answer when you feel like it.  If you don't want a kiss you say 'Go away,' or if you don't like something to eat you say 'yuucccccccck,' which we are desperately trying to stop you from saying!

Speaking of food, you are going through a stage with your eating habits.  You have about four meals that you actually like and if we prepare anything else for you and you don't like the look of it you will simply refuse to even try a bite.  Mummy had a hot chocolate with whipped cream the other day and I know if you had tried it you would have loved it, but you simply refused because it was 'new.'  You are a funny little thing and you don't like chips, spaghetti hoops or Mcdonalds- anything that would normally be a treat to other children.  But in a way I am secretly pleased as I am sure it won't be long before you want things that are unhealthy.  You are like your Mummy in the respects you have an incredibly sweet tooth!

Your speech is just incredible, you are like a little parrot and repeat every word we say so we do have to be careful.  The other night we were lying in bed and I asked you what you were doing and you said 'Just chilling Mummy.'  You also like to ask a huge amount of questions, 'What are you doing Mummy?' is your favourite at the moment and it has become a bit of a game because I ask you back 'What are you doing Mads?'  You have also started to try and sing the words of nursery rhymes which is very cute, as you do a dance at the same time.  You say please and thank you to everything which makes me very proud of you indeed.

It is scary to think that this month is potentially, all being well, the last month I will write you a letter as my only little lady, by the end of next month we will have another baby joining our family.  I have no idea how you are going to react, I suspect because you are such an independant little person you will just take it all in your stride, although I am sure there will be moments of jealousy.  I feel so incredibly nervous about making sure it doesn't affect you or that you don't feel left out.  As we spend our days together at the moment, I constantly look over at you and want to shower you in as much love as I possibly can, and also just capture every single little moment together before I have to share you.  I know I am not sharing you, but I am sharing my love and I want to just enjoy these last few moments with you as my only little girl.

I know you will love having a little sister and giving you the gift of a sibling is something I most excited about, but at the same time I want you to know that you will always be my baby, and you have made my transition into Mummyhood the most incredible time of my life.  You are truly a blessing, and although you have your little moments, we are so proud of the big, well behaved, kind, polite girl you are becoming.  You certainly have made the last two years of my life the best ever, and that will never change.  

You will always be my first born, you will always be the person who made me a Mummy, and you will always be the person who changed my life forever.  And for that I thank you.

Mummy loves you more than anything in the world.  But as always you already knew that.

Mummy

xx