Sometimes it is easy to get bogged down in every day life. Occasionally I find, especially at the moment when my hormones are all over the place, that I get stressed or worked up about things that just don't really matter. If I have a boring, long day at work, I come home and find my mood is black- I get annoyed because the house is a mess, or because there are piles of washing to do.
Money is another one, most days I am fine, and then others I get worked up about our sky high mortgage, or the bills that keep landing on the doormat. I get grumpy about the fact that I can't afford to buy as many clothes as I used too, or that I can't buy that little knick knack that would look nice on our bedroom windowsill.
Or I get irritated by the fact that since having Mads I have had to change job roles- and have had to take a big paycut- I had worked hard to get where I was, and I loved my job, but travelling a week of the month with a baby just wouldn't have been feasible. Instead I am now in a role where I don't feel as valued and the days drag.
But then I have weekends like the one I have just had that make you realise just exactly what you have.
Don't get me wrong, these moments are only very rarely, and I know how lucky I am. I have a wonderful family and loyal friends, an incredibly caring husband and a little girl who brightens up our world. We have to budget a lot more than we used too, but at the end of the day the reason we have high outgoings is because of our little home that we are privilged of owning, and from having a lot of holidays and travels before our little person arrived. But in the grand scheme of things, we have money to put food on the table and to treat ourselves occasionally, and I know we are a lot more fortunate than others. I took this pay cut so I could spend time with my girl and I wouldn't change that for all the clothes money could buy.
Back to this weekend. We went up to Cheshire to see Mr E's side of the family. We didn't do much, we went to lunch on the Saturday and then went to the local park, and on Sunday we went out for brunch and went to feed the ducks. But the sun was shining, there was a crisp frost on the ground and the trees were full of beautiful autumn colours.
There was something about my little girl running through the fallen leaves with her Daddy, her face lighting up when we gave the ducks some food, and the way she kept turning back to me and smiling, that clarified so much for me.
All of those things don't matter. Yes we all have bad days, and yes we all have good ones- ones where we treat ourselves, have a trip out or do something different. But this weekend was just normal, going to the park isn't anything extraordinary, we do it all the time.
But it made me realise that my 'normal' life is pretty damn good.
I wouldn't change a single thing about it.