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Articles tagged with: Mads

{The Ordinary Moments 15} #5 'Spotty'.

on Sunday, 01 February 2015.

The one word I could use to describe this week is 'long'.  On Saturday morning last week we noticed that Mads had a spot on her eye and a couple of spots on her tummy.  By lunchtime they had tripled, and by the following day she was covered in them.  The chicken pox had well and truly arrived.  Sunday was the worst day, she wasn't happy at all and lay on the sofa all day, complaining that she was cold but with a really high temperature.  She was really clingy and all she wanted to do was be close to us.  She rarely comes in our bed in the night, but we let her sleep with us which to her is a real treat.  She snuggled in close in the middle of us both and cuddled us all night.

Them being poorly is a bittersweet thing.  With things like the chicken pox, you know it won't last forever and while you wouldn't wish for them to be ill, there is a element of feeling like this is what motherhood is all about.  That while the fun, games and picture perfect moments are part and parcel of life, it's things like this that remind you what it really means to be a mother.  To be the one they need.  To be the one that can help soothe the pain, even though you can't make it completely better, you can be that comfort blanket that makes them feel reassured.  Feeling those little hot, feverish arms round me in the night, it makes me reassess what's important.  It makes me realise what really matters.

But inevitably when they are sick, it does play havoc with your schedule.  As I work freelance, I am very used to fitting my time around my children.  Indeed that's why I do it- I snatch moments during naptime, or work most evenings, or go and sit in a hotel at the weekend when Mr E is around to look after them.  They go to nursery two long mornings a week, from 9-2, so I can get the bulk of it done.  But I haven't got the balance quite right yet- I get stressed, I feel like I am behind and I have to work till late in the evening sometimes because I just haven't got enough done.  When you throw a poorly little person into the mix, I just about manage to keep on top of things.  

She hasn't been able to go to nursery at all this week obviously and as such I have struggled to get things done.  I feel a little on edge as I don't like to feel like I am behind and it will take me a lot of late nights and things to catch up.  But it's worth it.  I know I am lucky to be able to be at home with them full stop, and especially when they are under the weather.  As parents we all make sacrifices or have our own challenges- whether that's working full time in an office, working until midnight because you work from home, or whether you stay at home full time.  And even though I get a little stressed, like I said before, I know it's worth it.

I have actually relished the time alone with my biggest girl.  LL has still gone into nursery as normal and I have spent days snuggled up on the sofa with Mads.  We have played together, cuddled constantly and had one on one lunches together.  We have chatted, laughed and made up stories.  I have enjoyed every single cuddle, every single ear flick and every single  'I love you Mummy.'  She slept with us for three nights in total and as her little body moudled against mine, I yet again was reminded of exactly what it felt like to be the person that they want and need.  

She's almost better and will be back at nursery next week.  The Pox will be a distant memory as she scuttles off to play with her friends that she has missed.  But while this week hasn't been completely plain sailing, I have extra special memories of a week of cuddles and contentment with my eldest daughter.

 A week that has reminded me what a privilege it is to be the person they call Mummy.

chicken pox 1

chicken pox 2

chicken pox 3

 

 

A Christmassy 4th Birthday...

on Tuesday, 30 December 2014.

As I sit writing this if I glance to my right the Christmas tree is still there but it looks slightly depressed- no presents, a little uncared for now the big day is over, and in that limbo period where we all kind of want to pack it away but are also trying to cling on to the festive spirit for just that little bit longer.  

We are actually still in the throes of the holiday season.  Mr E is fortunate that he doesn't go back to work until the 5th January so we are enjoying a lovely long break together.  Christmas came and went in a flash (I have one more post on that to come before it's time to say goodbye for another year) and we had a great time.  In fact until yesterday nap time I hadn't even touched my laptop or really checked social media, bar the occasional instagram photo.  It feels good to have switched off, relaxed and really enjoyed time together as a family. We plan on doing lots more of that too.

It's been exceptionally hectic yet pretty chilled if that makes sense, and although I wasn't going to blog until the New Year I thought I would write about Mads birthday before it's too far past the date.  On Christmas Eve my beautiful little lady turned four and we had a great time celebrating.  Her birthday's have become a little bit of a tradition- we head out to the garden centre to see Father Christmas with friends and have the obligatory cake, before going for some lunch and then heading back home for a while.  In the evening we head over to my Mums where we have a little Christmas party with some of our closest family friends.  

This year was no exception and we had a great time, although it is quite hectic and full on having your birthday the day before Christmas and it means that Mads is utterly wired and exhausted before the big day even even begins.  This year my Mum spent the whole day with us and took us out for lunch so that was really lovely.  I didn't take many photos as the light was so bad but here are the few I took and a little video of my biggest girl's special day.

I can't believe she is four!

mads 4th birthday b

I got Mads a cute little top with the number four on for her birthday which she thought was the coolest thing ever.  We went to the garden centre with three of her little chums and we ate cake for breakfast.

christmas 2014 a

Meeting the big man himself.  The grotto was so good this year as you only went in with the people you were with.  Father Christmas and his elves sang Happy Birthday to Mads which made me get a tear in my eye.

mads 4th birthday c

Mads loved Father Christmas but LL wasn't quite so sure.  She didn't mind him when he was at a distance but when she sat on his knee she wasn't convinced.  Still she didn't cry at least.  

mads 4th birthday

My super talented friend made these Toy Story cupcakes for the birthday girl as she is Toy Story mad.  She absolutely loved them and they tasted delicious.

mads 4th birthday a

Too good to eat.

mads 4th birthday e

They were so excited to put a mince pie out for Father Christmas.  Mads insisted that he just wanted milk although Mr E tried to explain to her that he would probably prefer wine!

mads 4th birthday f

This little lady was super excited even though she didn't really grasp what was going on.

 

A little video of my birthday girl...

 

It still feels surreal to think that our biggest daughter is now four.  I can't quite believe it.  Hopefully the time will slow down a bit so we can fully enjoy her last few months before she starts school in September.  I say it every year but for some reason four is actually making me feel a little emotional, it is the first year I have thought that she is growing up far too quickly.

 

Mads You Are Four!

on Wednesday, 24 December 2014.

To my Dearest Baby Big Girl,

It's Christmas Eve and everyone is excitedly getting ready for the big day tomorrow- rushing to the supermarket to get last minute essentials, wrapping presents while listening to cheesy Christmas music or just spending time with family and friends.  We are doing all that, except we are also celebrating an extra special day.  Your birthday.  Today my biggest daughter turns four.

I often joke about two things.  Firstly that no Christmas present anyone ever buys me again will ever come close to the Christmas present I received on the 24th December 2010.  My early Christmas present and the best one I have ever and will ever receive.  You were worth spending the whole of Christmas in hospital for, worth not seeing my family for as they weren't allowed to meet you or come in the wards as it was shut due to Norovirus, and worth every single Christmas being a teeny tiny bit of a letdown ever since.  After all what can come close to meeting your baby for the first time at the most special time of year?

The other thing I joke about is that it's a rubbish day to have a birthday and that Daddy and I should have planned it better.  But actually deep down I think Christmas Eve is a pretty exciting day to be born.  We do all those festive things, but with the added extra of it being your special day.  You arrived into the world, my little c-section baby, to the sound of an extra special song that means a lot to Mummy and also to the sound of Christmas songs as well.  You wore a Christmas hat from a cracker that Mummy pulled with the midwives at less than 24 hours old and we often said we should have called you Holly or Eve.  There was Christmas music playing on the wards non stop, everyone was in good spirits and it was so quiet- there were only 4 babies born on the whole ward over Christmas time.  That meant that you got extra special attention from all the staff.

And now my biggest girl is four.  The one who made me a Mummy.  The one who changed everything we thought about life.  Who made us realise exactly what is important.  That it's the little things and that as long as we have each other, we couldn't be luckier.  I often stare at you and it takes my breath away- a weird emotion between insane happiness that you are mine and almost a little bit of pain about how life can be so sad and how it can change in an instant.  I can't quite believe you are four.  Three still seems little, still clinging on to the last grasp of toddlerhood.  But four is big.  Four year olds go to school.  Four is a little girl and there is no inch of toddlerhood left. 

You make me so incredibly proud every single day.  As I type this I have tears in my eyes.  Some slight ones over the fact it is so bittersweet just how fast the time is going.  How I wish I could make it slow down, or pause the good bits and replay them again and again.  But mostly my tears are for just how proud I am of you.  You are one in a million- kind, gentle, the worlds best big sister, hilariously funny with a dry, sarcastic wit even at your tender young age, and the most affectionate little person I could ask for.  We have our moments, you can be a stroppy little thing, or have days where you drive me mad, but for the most part you are the loveliest, happiest girl and you brighten up all our days.

I am going to relish these next few months as come September I am going to have to let you go just a little bit and share you when you head off to school.  I am, to be quite honest dreading that day as I just don't want this stage of our lives to be over.  But I know you are ready and you will love and enjoy it, just as you do when you go to nursery two long mornings a week.  

Happy 4th birthday my darling girl.  Enjoy being four and all the adventures it brings.  Thank you for being you.

Mummy loves you more than anything in the world.

But as always you already knew that.

Mummy.

xxxx

madsis4a

madsis4

 

You Are Nearly Four...And An Apology.

on Thursday, 23 October 2014.

Dearest Mads,

I need to start off this letter to you firstly by saying how sorry I am.  From when you were in my tummy I started writing you letters, telling you what we got up to that month and what you had learnt and experienced.  I wanted you to read them all when you were older and get a glimpse of what your early years were like.  I started writing them on this blog, but Daddy used to print them out on nice paper so you could keep them too.

Then a few months ago I started getting a little lazy.  Factor in a busy Summer where life got very hectic and I didn't have time/forgot to write your letters.  I do feel a little sad that I haven't kept up with them but at the same time we have got my blog posts, our photos and videos to fill in the gaps. I have decided from now to just write them every now and again rather than monthly, but know that every word is just as heartfelt as before.

40 months 

So what to say about my biggest girl?  The first thing is just how much of a big girl you are now.  I don't know when it happened but somehow my little toddler turned into a proper young girl.  You have grown so tall, all your baby fat has gone (bar your little tummy!) and you are all lanky limbs.  You also have the grace of an elephant, we definitely won't be enrolling in ballet any time soon- you are such a clumsy little thing who climbs, jumps and crawls all over us.  

You are such a feisty lady, with strong opinions who isn't afraid to make herself heard but likewise you are shy and cling to Mummy until you have warmed to a person or a situation.  You have things that you have really love and things you really dislike.  For example you love 'boy clothes' at the moment- you very much have your own sense of style and you like anything that is dark colours, or shirts, trousers and leggings.  Every morning you help me decide what to dress you in and off you go into your bedroom and shut the door and get yourself dressed, coming to show me yourself in your outfit with the biggest smile of pride on your face.  If you don't like something Mummy has picked out we will have such a fight trying to get you to wear it, so we often let you choose for an easy life.

Your obsession with 'little bits and bobs' doesn't show any sign of waning.  You are like a little magpie, but you just want anything cheap and what Mummy would class as rubbish.  Things out of Kinder Eggs or any type of egg for that matter, toys out of party bags, and crappy pocket money toys you get at the garden centre are your favourite and you will hoard them under your pillow or by the side of your bed and put them in little bags.  You still love to watch all these weird videos on You Tube of eggs being unwrapped or plastic toys being played with and I think that is where a lot of it comes from.

40 months a

You still love Toy Story and anything related to it, and Pongo the toy dog is still your favourite thing to cuddle.  You wouldn't go to sleep without him, but you aren't fully attached to him like LL is to her sheep, who she carries around with her everywhere she goes.  Speaking of your little sister, you are still one in a million to her, caring for her and loving her completely, but as you both grow and your bond develops, you definitely wind each other up.  Lately you have been not letting her have things you are playing with occasionally just to wind her up, and whereas before she wouldn't care, now has her own mind as well and will throw a paddy.  This normally causes tears and strops all round. 

On the whole you are a very good girl, very affectionate and loving, and a little comedian who loves to make people laugh.  You pull funny faces and tell us funny stories, although at the moment toilet humour seems to be your thing- you love to talk about poo, bottoms and bits- we can only think you have picked it up at nursery!  Our biggest arguements revolve around food, we battle with you on a daily basis and it is at an all time low- your diet at the moment consists of a few bites of pasta, curry or chilli before messing around and causing dinner time to be a stress, even things other children would consider 'treats' like pizza are not on your menu anymore.  If it's green, fresh and healthy you won't touch it, yet you eat everything you are given at nursery.

Another thing guaranteed to make us clash is hair wash time.  You cry and throw a fit, especially when it comes to brushing it.  We leave your beautiful curls without brushing them for an easy life and then when we do brush them after a couple of days it is even worse, to be fair I can understand it probably does hurt, but it's a constant battle trying to brush it!  But you love to splash in the bath and over the summer became a real water baby, loving to go swimming and gaining such confidence in the water.

40 months c

Your sleep is still amazing and you are still napping at nearly four, although your naps have got a little shorter on some days.  If you do have a short nap of around an hour, you just get up and cuddle with me on the sofa and watch the television, you know while LL is still asleep that it is quiet time so I do relish those moments with you when we snuggle together quietly.

You now go to nursery three long mornings a week, one day extra than your sister as we want you to get ready for school next September.  You love nursery, and are now in the 'Lions' room- the preschool room where you are thriving.  You are a well liked member of your group and they have never had to tell you off, saying you are as good as gold.  Speaking of the S word, I cannot believe that in eleven months we will be saying goodbye to this chapter of your life.  The thought of it makes me want to burst into tears, I am not ready for this next stage.

I know you will grow and thrive at school, but I am going to savour every single minute of this year, of having you with us and of being a team of three in the week.  As much as you drive me mad, I adore being with you, love our days together and I am not quite ready to accept that I have to let you go a little bit.  You are sweet, pure and full of love, with such an innocent mind and I know that come September a little of that will leave you.  The other day you said to me 'How does Father Christmas know what toys you want?' to which I said 'Because he listens' and you replied 'Is he a little bit near the shops?'  I find it hard to believe that you will all too soon be off on that journey and I will have to accept it.

So until then I am trying not to rush ahead, I am living in the here and now and relishing all those hugs and cuddles, and our little routine with you.  

I am so very proud of you my beautiful girl.  Stay little please.  You are growing up far too fast.

I love you, always and forever,

But as always, you already knew that.

Mummy xxx

40 months b

 (You can read my other letters to my littles here.)

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