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Articles tagged with: Memories

So It's Autumn...

on Tuesday, 21 October 2014.

Autumn is officially here and has been for a couple of weeks, but due to being busy, under the weather and a little bit lazy we haven't really had time to truly appreciate the changing of the season until yesterday.

 I have written about Autumn before, this time last year, but I do love the anticipation it brings.  While I typically am a Summer girl through and through, there is something strangely comforting about Autumn.  There is definitely an element of nesting- we spent last weekend doing odd jobs around the house that we have been meaning to do for ages, giving it a spring clean and generally getting ready for the hibernation period.  We have been getting into our pj's at 1pm after coming home from going out for the morning and it already feels like we are getting that little bit cosier.

Our home for the first time in five years actually feels much more 'homely'.  This year we have spent a fair bit of time and money doing it up and as such our living room, bedroom and bathroom all feel ready for the cosiness of the winter months ahead.  There is nothing I like more than lighting some candles and snuggling down on the sofa with a blanket.  Although not completely finished, I feel such satisfaction in spending time in our little home and creating memories there. 

I thought our pace of life would slow down after our hectic Summer, but it seems to be just as busy.  We have stuff planned for a fair few weekends in November already, mixed in with the odd lazy one too, and December is always busy for us with our wedding anniversary, Mads birthday and of course Christmas.  I am relishing making adventures with my little family and am so thankful for these times.

But as always it's the simple, everyday moments and routines that we all really thrive on.  And I think that's exactly what Autumn brings- just a sense of contentment and gratitude at being here, being us and living our ordinary happy life.  

Like going on Autumn walks together...

I hadn't taken any photos with my 'big camera' for a couple of weeks- partly due to being busy, partly due to being poorly and also being a little lazy too, it's probably the longset I haven't got it out in a while.  So yesterday I dusted it off and took it out on an early morning walk.  I didn't think the photos would be anything special but I just wanted to snap some of my girls as I hadn't for a while.  It turns out I love these photos so much.  They wind each other up a lot at the moment (and often me as well!) but it is a sign of how close they are, they can be arguing over a toy one minute and then cuddling the next.  Their bond is so real and so special and I am so proud of the little people they are becoming.

My happy, innocent little three year old and one year old.

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{The Ordinary Moments 14} #39 'This Is Motherhood.'

on Sunday, 19 October 2014.

On Friday afternoon I got the girls up from their nap and within minutes they were both screaming.  Not just crying, or having a tantrum, but really really screaming, which in itself is pretty rare for both of them.  LL eventually calmed down, but poor Mads carried on sobbing, while clutching her ear in pain.  I tried to reason with her, to cuddle her, to comfort her, but nothing was working.  After realising she wasn't going to settle, I rang the emergency doctor and headed down there to get them to check her out.

I rang my Mum in slight despair at the noise and stress of the situation, and on hearing Mads and LL crying in the background, she came to my rescue.  She sat with Mads on her lap, holding her tight, doing her Grandma duties, while I cuddled LL.  She came in while the doctor checked them over, and after diagnosing both with bad coughs, high temperatures, and poor Mads with a severe ear infection, she took me to Sainsbury's and bought us 'essential medical supplies' such as antibiotics, ice cream, ice lollies, diet coke and sweets.  

She then came back to my house which I had left in a hurry and in a complete state and she cleaned up around me while I cuddled my poorly ladies close on the sofa.  She got on her hands and knees and scrubbed a rather disgusting cat poo off my carpet (thanks Walter!), she changed the litter tray, she hoovered and she helped me sort out the girls.  She pottered around for an hour or so, before giving me a cuddle and leaving us to it, as Mr E was out for the evening.

As I lay in our bed a little later on, my arms tightly round Mads who was whimpering and crying in her sleep, while playing with my ear as she so often does for comfort, I thought back to my Mum.  Those simple gestures, those things she does for me day in and day out, that show us just how much she cares.  How she comes up to my house and grabs a load of my washing, takes it back and irons it just to help me out.  How earlier in the week when we were all feeling under the weather she told us to come up to hers.  She helped the girls paint while I sat back, had a break and ate beans on toast.  How easily it is ingrained in her to take care of us, even now.  How these things are so small that sometimes I don't even notice them, but that when I take a second to think about it, I realise just how much she does.  

This is motherhood.

It's not always plain sailing.  It's not always about picture perfect photos, happy days out and ticking off milestones.  It's about having that instinct in you to know when your children need you, whatever age they are.   It's about the simple things, the ordinary moments and the little gestures.  And as soon as you take that little person in your arms the moment they are born, you learn what it is like to love someone unconditionally.  Through the amazing times, the rough times, the ordinary times and the day to day times.  

We have had a fair few moments like that this week.  Moments where I have felt this raw emotion that comes with being a mother.  Like when I was cuddling in bed with Mads, letting her play with my ear pretty much all night long even though it actually hurts a little sometimes and meant I couldn't sleep.  Or realising a poorly LL had fallen asleep on me and not moving for an hour because I was relishing that feeling of having her so close to me.  It's these moments, that technically are supposed to be tough, that are genuinely the sweetest.  To feel that satisfaction and utter love that comes with being the one my babies need.  That I am the one that makes it all better.

Sometimes I think about how fast the time is going and it almost takes my breath away.  It makes me feel so sad to think that one day my girls might not need me, or that I might not be their whole world.  The thought of it makes me get tears in my eyes and I will the days, months and years to not pass so quickly.  But then I think about my own Mum.  About how she would drop anything to look after us.  All the simple, little things she does to help us.  About how at thirty years old, I still need her.  And I know that she is there.  She always was.

I hope one day my girls will look back and remember not only the big holidays, fun days out, or exciting times.  I hope they will remember the ordinary and the not so good ones too.  How I held back their hair as they were sick, how I cuddled them close and held them as they cried.  How I would do anything for them and about how I loved them unconditionally.

Because that is motherhood.

 

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{The Ordinary Moments 14} #38 'Far More Happy Moments...'

on Sunday, 12 October 2014.

I've found this week pretty hard.

When I type those words, I instantly want to delete them, to write about something else, to stop being so dramatic.  I am well aware that my 'pretty hard' weeks are pretty flimsy and mild in comparison to other people's 'pretty hard' weeks.  When I type those words, I feel like a fraud, that in reality I don't have any right to complain, or moan, and that I should feel thankful for what I have.  I know how lucky I am, and then I feel cross with myself for feeling this way.

It's not been anything in particular that has made me feel like this.  The girls have on the whole been pretty good, bar the usual typical moments of strops, inevitable tiredness, or brief difficult ten minutes that come with parenting a three and a one year old.  In fact, I had a lovely day away on Wednesday, (more about that later this week) but for some reason I haven't been able to shake this mood I am in.

One major reason is that I have been poorly.  It's not something I particularly write about on this here blog of mine, but I have been suffering on and off with horrible episodes of sickness and cramps for months.  This week it has been particularly bad, and on Thursday after a few nights of restless sleep, I was left feeling tired, grumpy and a little anxious.  I let it build up, had a good cry and then felt better for it instantly.  

And that's the thing.  Sometimes it's good to feel a little self indulgent.  To have 'one of those days' even though you know how lucky you are.  To have a cry, or a moan, or be a little over dramatic.  To accept that you are being silly, or a little over the top.  To know that deep down, you have it pretty damn good.

If you don't ever feel a little emptiness from time to time, for whatever reason, then you wouldn't ever know the satisfaction of feeling full again.  So on Thursday, when I was feeling pretty ill and rubbish, we headed outside just for a little bit to get some fresh air.  To brush away the cobwebs and that feeling you get when you have slight cabin fever.

Seeing my beautiful girls, walking hand in hand, in their matching outfits, was enough to snap me out of my funny old mood.  

Because for all those 'pretty hard' moments?

There are definitely far more happy ones.

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My Sisters In October.

on Friday, 10 October 2014.

Yet another month has gone past, I feel like I could have blinked and missed September.  We have been so busy, life has been so hectic, and my little ladies have had lots of adventures, fun times and changes in routine.  I thought it would calm down a little now October has arrived, but our diary is already filling up with different things, so we really are relishing the quiet moments as much as the days out, visits to family and little trips.

As another month in 2014 passes us by, Mads and LL's relationship has changed and grown even more.  As LL becomes more interactive and as her little personality develops, you see their bond developing even more.  LL follows her big sister around like a little dog, whereever Mads goes you won't find her far behind.  They are so affectionate with one another, cuddling, kissing and holding hands a lot.  Now LL is fully walking and running, they cause no end of mischief, causing havoc if they are ever not in the buggy when we are out and about.  

Mads still continues to be the best big sister as she has been from day one, looking after and caring for LL, sharing her treats or toys with her, or just generally looking out for her.  I often listen to Mads talking to her, telling her about different things or soothing her if she is grumpy or sad.  Likewise I see LL looking at Mads with pure love in her eyes, she is so in awe of her big sister.

But for all the love and affection, a definite sibling rivalry is developing between them both, as well as moments of bickering.  LL is at an age where she doesn't understand that things aren't 'hers' so she will often come up and try and grab things off Mads, which obviously doesn't go down too well.  When this happens and she doesn't get her own way, she will let out a high pierced wail, causing Mads to get cross and tell her off.  Likewise Mads will say things like 'I have the best clothes on' or 'LL isn't allowed this cause she is a baby and I am a big girl.'  It makes me laugh to hear them bickering as I get flashes of what their teenage years will be like.

My photos were this month were taken during our little trip to Brighton with my own sister, where the girls ran around, held hands and giggled the whole time.  They loved the pebble beach, for some reason both my children have a bizarre obsession with playing with stones and rocks!  I really am so proud of their relationship and the way they are with one another and these photos make me smile.

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*****

This month I am sending you over to have a look at Lucy's beautiful boy and beautiful girl and see what they have been getting up too!

 

Check out my sisters in...

January

February

March

April

May 

June

July

August

September

 

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