I have written a few times before about how when my children are poorly, I actually find those times some of the most emotional and rawest when it comes to this motherhood journey. Of course I don't like them being poorly, no one wants their child to be under the weather, but those times when they need their Mummy the most, are the times that I know I will treasure when they are all grown up.
There's something about them- I know I will look back and remember that slightly sick, sweet smell of Calpol, the feeling of how hot their little foreheads were when you touched them, and how when I wrapped my arms around them and snuggled into them tight, it felt like I was holding on to a hot water bottle. On Monday morning LL had spent the majority of the night before in our bed. I lay next to her for ages while the sun came up and her and Mr E were still in a restless sleep, and I just stared at her. I made sure I took in every inch of her little button nose, all crusty and sore from her cold, and I marvelled at how long her eyelashes were. I snuggled in close to her and took advantage of the fact she was asleep, and I put my head near hers and smelt her hair, it always smells of honey.
It's rare we stay in all day. I am one of those people who likes to be busy, I like to get us out and about even if it's just to pop into town or to the garden centre for a cake. We rarely have days in the house anymore, especially now they are older and we all get a little bit of cabin fever if we don't go out. PJ days are rare nowadays too, and there's silly things, but since I started blogging I don't remember the last time I had morning TV on that wasn't kids television. If I am at home there is normally the hum drum of children's programmes in the background or it's off because we are playing a game of some sorts.
LL has been under the weather pretty much all week- I am lucky that neither of my children are particularly sickly, (touch wood) in fact I can count on one hand the amount of times they have actually been sick since they were past that 'baby sick' stage. A lot of children permanently have colds or coughs, but again Mads and LL generally aren't really prone to them. But this week LL has been really out of sorts with a cold, cough and really high fever. Sunday night was dreadful, she didn't want to sleep in her cot, but she is also one of these little people who just can't settle in our bed, unlike her big sister, so we had a night where the three of us tossed and turned all night long.
Tuesday was supposed to be a nursery day but she really wasn't up for going. As it happens I got up and went for a run in the morning with a good friend of mine and as her son goes to the same nursery as Mads and LL, she said she would take her so I didn't have to take LL out the house. This was a rare treat so LL and I stayed in our comfy clothes and snuggled on the sofa all morning. Our nursery are pretty good and they said she could switch her hours and go in on Friday instead when she was better, so I didn't have to worry too much about working around her. Instead I did a few bits and bobs I needed to do and then snuggled on the sofa with her for hours.
I never normally do this. If we are at home, I am normally tidying or we are playing games, or I am busy doing other things if they are having a bit of quiet TV time, so it's rare we sit for a long block of time anymore and just cuddle together. It was lovely and she even had a little snooze on the sofa which never happens anymore. It was just a really lovely morning with her. And this is what I mean. These are the moments I will remember. I remember them with Mads. These are the moments I don't want to forget. The way we snuggled together and she buried her little face into my arm. The way she looked up at me every so often and I could see in her little eyes that she was enjoying this one on one time just as much as I was.
These ordinary moments. These non descript times. These are the ones that will hit me one day and give me a pang of nostalgia, the ones that will come flooding back in years to come and make me feel so bittersweet that my girls are older and don't need me like that anymore.
These are the ones that truly make me feel like a Mummy.
A Mummy who should from time to time stop and pause and relish these moments a little more than she currently does.
Some iPhone photos of our week of bugs...
She fell asleep clutching her Peppa toys that go everwhere with her.