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Articles tagged with: Memories

{The Ordinary Moments 14} #31 'Half Glass Empty Half Glass Full'

on Sunday, 24 August 2014.

*Disclaimer- this is a bit of rambling post on motherhood that doesn't really make much sense, but my emotions were all over the place this week.  You have been warned!*

 

I have a tendency to let the mundanity of life catch up with me sometimes.  Occasionally the constant nappy changes, the endless making lunches or lugging two small people around the supermarket with one running off and one refusing to sit in a trolley, will result in me feeling a little bit out of sorts.  I will pace around the living room waiting to hear the front door open and see my husband arrive home from work, just to get a little break from the constant demands of motherhood.

At the back of my mind, I always deep down know how lucky I am, how blessed I am to have the opportunity to work from home and be the person who looks after my girls the majority of the time.  Of course I know that, but sometimes the intensity and mediocrity just catches up with me.  Because let's face it, being a parent is hard work.  It's relentless, from the second they open their eyes in the morning until well after they have gone to sleep at night.  Making sandwiches, the nursery drop off, running their bath water, tidying the toys after they are in bed- we repeat so many moments in motherhood we could probably do them in our sleep.  They become routine.  They become day to day life.  And sometimes that day to day life gets a little stagnant, or a 'bad day' in the life of a three and a half year old learning to express her emotions can throw it all off kilter slightly.  You can feel like your glass is half empty even though you know deep down that couldn't be further from the truth.

But then I also have the other kind of emotional moments.  These happen once in a while too and they are even harder to describe.  My husband has a tattoo of the yin and yang symbol, I don't hugely like it to be honest (it's very late 90's sorry Mr E!) but it was done another lifetime ago.  However recently I have been thinking about the meaning behind it and how in a way you can relate it to the feeling of motherhood.  How opposing or contrary forces are actually interconnected and complementary to each other.  Amazing and beautiful moments, followed by difficult or sad ones.  Ordinary days where everything goes right followed by ordinary days where it all feels just feels a little bit challenging and hard.  

This week I have felt so teary.  But not teary in a sad or unhappy way.  Just emotional with the intensity of it all.  Emotional because I feel lucky to have this mundane, slightly boring life.  The slightest thing has set me off, whether it's a sad song, saying goodbye to my grandparents, or even cuddling my biggest girl who clung to me in our bed in the night after being sick.  As she lay with me, I felt this raw emotion so strong that it made me cry silently into my pillow. I find that being a mother is loving so deeply that sometimes it actually physically hurts.

There's this fear deep inside me that I don't even like to think about let alone put into words.  I imagine all mothers have it from time to time.  Most of the time it lies dormant, always there but hidden, a passing thought in the midst of a busy day.  But sometimes it pushes it's way to the surface and it can consume my thoughts.  It may be something on the news, something that has happened to a friend of a friend, or even god forbid someone you know.  A glimpse into someone else's anguish and despair.  The fact that life can change in an instant.  And these moments will always make me sad but occasionally they will floor me.  The thought of anything bursting my happy bubble of ordinary life.  

Because Motherhood is so much more than making sandwiches, the nursery drop off, running their bath water, and tidying the toys.  Underneath the routine and the structure, there's the deep rooted  intensity of loving someone so much that it can completely change you.  That you can have days where you feel like crying for absolutely no reason because you feel so overcome with emotion about how lucky you are.  Sometimes the best way to process that is just to carry on, to go about your day to day life- to play, to teach, to discipline and to make memories.  And it goes back to the Ying and Yang theory, for all of the worry, fear, guilt and mundanity, there is happiness, love and gratitude.  Those complimentary opposites constantly interacting and balancing each other, not being able to exist without the other.

You need the odd bad or challenging day to fully appreciate the good ones.  Sometimes I need a good cry, or to go and pick my children up from nursery early for a cuddle, or to really sit and closely watch them on the sofa eating an after nap biscuit to remind myself that ordinary life isn't always easy.  That motherhood isn't always easy.  We may be incredibly lucky but that everyone is allowed to feel like their glass is half empty on the odd occasion.  

But that deep down you know that it is in fact full to the brim.

appreciatoin 

 

The Weekend Just Gone...

on Thursday, 21 August 2014.

Last weekend we had one of those 'bits and bobs' weekends- you know the ones where you don't have any set plans but you end up being quite busy doing different things.  It was quite welcome after being away so much over the Summer.  As usual either my DSLR or my phone came along for the ride too.

Here is a glimpse of the weekend just gone...

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On Saturday we went over to see my Dad for a BBQ cause my grandparents were visiting from Wales.  I became like an undercover detective trying to snap candid moments without them seeing.  I love this one taken of Mads and my Nana from outside.  I truly treasure experiencing these moments.

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Isn't it funny how children instinctively know the good ones?  I know they are family but even when they haven't seen them for a while, my little ladies just fall straight back into place with their Great Nana and Grandpa. 

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My 93 year old Grandpa and my 3 year old little girl sharing a moment.

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My happy girl.

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Reading a story with Nana.  My Nana is an ex headteacher and she partly helped influence my love of reading and words.  Everytime we visited them she would spend hours reading, doing puzzles or playing Scrabble with me.  I loved watching them from a distance reading together.

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I couldn't love this photo anymore.

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I love this photo for it's innocence and the fact it captures a childhood favourite- playing hide and seek.

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On Sunday I took part in my first ever half marathon.  Considering I have only been running since January and I hadn't really trained properly for it, I was absolutely terrified.  To top it all off, it actually chucked it down with rain most of the time, with the sun finally coming out towards the end. This photo was before- I can see the fear in my face!

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It was one of the hardest things I have ever done, especially as I was ill the next day so obviously had a bug and felt so awful at the end, but I am so proud of myself for doing it. I finished in a time of 1 hour 58 which I am so pleased with considering it was a hilly course.  I didn't enjoy it at all, but would I do another one?  Definitely!

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To celebrate my half marathon, we decided to go to Zizzi's Cambridge for a meal as we had been invited to try it out as a family.  We went to the Bene't Street branch which is just gorgeous, it's in an old converted bank and the decor is stunning.  

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To start we shared a garlic bread and a bread bucket between the four of us, the girls had starter's with their kids meals but couldn't get enough of the different breads, which to be fair were very yummy.

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As a family we could eat pizza constantly, even my fussy little ladies will wolf it down.  For mains Mr E had a delicious Rustica Piccante pizza which we all had a little bit of because it was huge.  I had the Skinny Pollo Piccante pizza which was on smaller wholemeal dough and came with a side salad.  It normally would have been the perfect size for me but I was so hungry from my race!  The girls had Margherita's which got the definite seal of approval with an empty plate from both.

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For pudding I had the Panna Cotta which was just delicious, Mads had the ice cream cones and popping candy which she thought was the best thing ever, and LL and Mr E had sorbet. 

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LL finished her dessert and the proceeded to eat half her sister's!  All in all we couldn't fault Zizzi's, the food was fantastic, the venue gorgeous and we had a great time.  A special mention had to go to our waiter who really was so lovely with the girls- something which just makes the experience of dining with children that little bit easier and nicer.  We have eaten at Zizzi's a fair few times and will continue to do so- what's not to love? 

 

 

NB: We were invited to try out Zizzi's as a family- all words, photos, and half marathon accomplishments are entirely my own. ;) 

 

Our Weekend Camping Adventure- Part Two.

on Tuesday, 19 August 2014.

A couple of weekends ago we had our first camping experience as a family when (I say camping but we cheated and went for a more 'luxury' option!) to Pembrokeshire in South West Wales.  I posted some photos last week, but I took so many as usual that I decided to split my posts in to two parts.  

 

Here is a little more of what we got up too...

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I *may* have prettied up our tent with these super cute lanterns from The Little Things.  

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We decided to go to South Wales because Mr E used to holiday in Wales a lot as a child, and we heard the beaches were beautiful.  We googled 'Britain's best beach' and it came up with Barafundle Bay, and then when Lucy and her little family then posted about their adventure there, our minds were made up.  It didn't disappoint, it was absolutely beautiful and because we went late in the afternoon, it was practically deserted.  For those thinking of going there, you have to walk over the cliff to get there, it's probably a good 3/4 of a mile walk up some steps and hills, but once you are there it's 100% worth it.

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So worth the climb- how beautiful.

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'You better give me that spade soon Daddy.'

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This girl is an actual liability when it comes to sand- she gets it EVERYWHERE.  Whereas Mads was never fussed when she was a baby, LL just wants to eat it and put it places she isn't supposed too!

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No trip to the seaside would be complete without some competitive sandcastle building.  Obviously.

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We sat and had dinner on the practically deserted beach.  Which was lovely bar the sandy sandwiches, which were a little crunchy.

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She is still at that stage where she is 'waddling' - she's getting faster on her feet every day but still holds out her hands to steady herself most of the time which is pretty cute.

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Sisterly sandcastle building.

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The next few photos are basically all of LL prompting Mr E to say 'You are aware that we have more than one child?!  It's just the light was so nice and she was sitting still!

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Ahhh pretty light and a baby in romper shorts.  Perfect.

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I love this photo of Mr E and LL.  He really is the best father I could ask for for my little ladies.

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'I have sand up my nose.'

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'If I am quick he won't catch me and I can put some more up there.'

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'Damn he caught me- let's have a sulk.'

 

All in all it was a fantastic weekend, and I am glad we had such a memorable first camping experience.  I am still definitely not sold on the idea of full camping just yet, but glamping suits us just fine!

{The Ordinary Moments 14} #30 'Ordinary Moments To Treasure'

on Sunday, 17 August 2014.

I have spoken a few times on my blog about my Grandparents.  I am lucky that I still have both sets of my Grandparents around, which at my age is pretty rare.  My Mum's parents live near us and we often see them, but my Dad's side live on the border of Wales so as such don't get to see them as much.  We try to see them every couple of months, whether that's us going up to see them or them coming down to see my Dad.  This weekend my Dad travelled up to get them and brought them back down to his house for a few days.

My Grandpa is 93 and my Nana is nearly 90, so as sad as it may be, it almost feels like we are on 'borrowed time'.  That is the inevitablity of life, and as much as you try not to think about it, I often do, especially after we have said our goodbyes.  Therefore every time we see them it is so special, and I am so thankful that that they have got to develop a relationship with my girls.  On Saturday afternoon we went over to my Dad's and Step Mum's for a BBQ, where we spent a few hours making yet more unforgettable memories.  Both Mads and LL were such good girl's and I managed to catch a couple of sneaky snaps of them when they weren't looking.  The fact that they are unposed and capture such raw emotion, are even more special for me.

These are ordinary moments, but actually they are some of my most treasured.  We will continue to make them for as long as we are lucky enough to do so...

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