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Articles tagged with: Pregnancy

On This Day....Happy First Birthday LL!

on Tuesday, 11 February 2014.

On this day a year ago at exactly 12.52pm there was a gurgling cry and a little person arrived into the world.  Nothing can explain the relief of that first cry, of hearing your baby for the first time.  Those nine long months of waiting, wondering what they will look like, and whether they will be born safely.  Trying to imagine their face, their little fingers clasping yours, and what they will look like dressed in that first outfit that you spent ages choosing.

Nine months of a tummy growing bigger...

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Until this day a year ago when we became a four...

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And the first time you hold them, it's a feeling that is so hard to even comprehend.  The rush of emotions- the intense love, the fear, the adrenaline, and the realisation that life will never ever be the same again.

On this day a year ago a little person stole my heart.  Throughout my pregnancy with her, I felt her kick and wriggle non stop, so active unlike her big sister who rarely kicked and who had to be monitored weekly at the hospital as she didn't move much.  I used to lie in the bath and see my whole bump move and I would lie awake at night while she turned somersaults in my stomach.

I could certainly feel her presence but I couldn't imagine it.  Being a three seemed to work for us, we both loved Mads so much we couldn't possibly imagine feeling the same intense love.  I couldn't quite get my head around being a mum to more than one child or the logistics of having two children.  I just couldn't imagine being a four.

But I need not have worried.

On this day a year ago a little person completed our family.  From the second I first saw her I knew my worries were ridiculous.  We all fell head over heels in love with her.  I witnessed the most magical thing when her big sister met her for the first time.  She was only 26 months but was so incredibly gentle, stroking her face and say 'Baby' over and over again.  From that day on they have been the best of friends and watching them grow close has been the best thing I have ever experienced.

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And now 365 days later my beautiful newborn daughter is no longer a little baby but not quite a toddler.  She is just on the cusp of learning- learning to walk, learning to talk and learning lots of other new skills.  But for the moment she is still very much my baby, she's in no hurry to reach the milestones unlike her sister, and that suits me just fine.  Mr E always says she seems so much smaller, we don't know why but she still seems so teeny to us.

It's been a wonderful year with our LL.  She is a quiet, cheerful little girl, with big blue eyes that sparkle and dance.  She has a smile that lights up her whole face and she loves nothing more than to cuddle.  She will cuddle and bury her face into anyone- her Daddy, her sister and any stuffed toy that is within reach.  But her most special snuggles are reserved for me, her Mummy.  She is a Mummy's girl through and through, and is never happier than when she is with me.  Mads has always been a Daddy's girl so I am relishing this intense bond we share.

With Mads it was all new.  We were learning as we went along, figuring it out together.  With LL I have felt more confident, knowing that the baby stage passes so quickly and that there isn't a rule book for doing it right.  She came into our bed from 4am most mornings for months, co-sleeping with me, her little body moulded against mine, and she napped on the sofa until at least 8 months.  Whereas her big sister was always the best sleeper, it took LL a little longer to realise how good snoozing is.  Now she is just wonderful, sleeping from 7 until at least 7 in the morning, with a long nap in the afternoons too.  And there is a little part of me that misses those early morning sleepy cuddles together.

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She is a lot quieter than her sister, happy watching the world and taking it all in.  We used to joke that we forgot she was there when we went out for the day, she would happily sit in her buggy or in a highchair while we attended to her noisy hyperactive sister.  Nowadays there are some glimmers of feistiness emerging- she will have a mini loop out if someone has some food and she wants it, and if Mads tries to cuddle her when she isn't in the mood she will push her away.  This normally results in uncontrollable laughter from the pair of them.  

I could literally write about her non stop, but to be honest my words just don't do her justice.  She's made this the best year of all our lives so far, has completed our family, and made me a mother to not one, but two incredible little ladies.  I feel so lucky to be able to call both these girl's my daughters.  

And now my littlest daughter is one.  It's been a super fast year, and those newborn days feel a long time ago.  I wish I could bottle up the memories so I could relive them again and again- the announcement video we made after our 12 week scan feels like a whole lifetime ago, and I am so glad I am recording all our family milestones on this blog.  Being a mother has made me realise just how fleeting time is.  

No doubt there will be a few emotional moments today, and a few teary eyes as we celebrate LL's first birthday quietly together.  But while I am feeling sentimental and a little sad that we are saying goodbye to her baby days, I am excited to see all the stages that will come.

 

 

As the song says on the little video I made for her birthday,

'Forever is better with you.'

And that couldn't be a truer statement.  

Thank you for being ours, we love you darling LL.

Happy First Birthday.

Mummy, Daddy and Mads.

xxx

 

 

 

Goodbye Bump...Hello Baby.

on Monday, 04 March 2013.

On the 10th June 2012 I sat down on the toilet and did one of those cheapie internet pregnancy tests.  We hadn't even really started trying for a baby as we were waiting so I could have a few drinks on our holiday in the middle of June, but we had been being 'less careful.'  Imagine my surprise when a very faint line appeared.  I shouted to Mr E 'Can you see a line?  Can you see a line?'  He said maybe but it was very faint.  Cue a mad dash to Sainsburys to buy a 'proper' test and me being so impatient, couldn't wait so I did another test in their toilets.  Classy.  But another faint line appeared.  

And just like that my pregnancy journey began.

We had an interesting situation to begin with where a doctor told us we weren't pregnant but in the end it was confirmed that we were indeed expecting a new addition to our family.  

We announced it in a way that I will remember forever.

And my bump grew.  And grew.  And grew some more.

We found out we were having another little girl.  I couldn't have been more thrilled.

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And then after months and months of waiting and waiting we finally got to hold our new little bundle in our arms.  And it was totally worth the weight.

At 39+3 weeks my little lady came into the world.  

And just like that my bump went and all of a sudden there was a pink, screaming baby in it's place and I was left with a sort of deflated beach ball tummy.

I don't know if anyone else feels this way but the first few days I couldn't help but stare at my tummy then stare at LL, and not quite believe that she was inside me just days before?  How was this tiny human actually in my tummy?

Pregnancy most certainly is a miracle.  Our gorgeous children who mean the absolute world to us, start off as a mass of cells the size of a poppy seed and grow and develop until they are fully fledged little humans.  I find that mind boggling to think that is how we all started off.  

I am so thankful for my body that it has served me well and safely grown my two children.  I am a huge worrier in pregnancy and every little cramp, niggle and soreness makes me panic, especially in those early days.  It truly is a miracle that our bodies can grow something so special, and I feel so thankful that my body seemed to know what to do and we didn't have any huge problems in conceiving or sustaining our pregnancies. 

And now I have these two little girls to show for it.  

Yes I also have a belly button that has seen better days due to a huge amount of over stretching, and a tummy that will never quite be the same again.  Yes my belly is a bit 'loose' and Yes I no longer have a waistline and I dread to think what my boobs will be like after breastfeeding for a second time...

...But I grew my children safe and sound.  I may have suffered back pain, and with both of them such bad rib pain, and I may have got the odd leg cramp, but really in terms of pregnancy I have been very, very lucky to feel surprisingly good.  And even if I hadn't it would be totally worth it.

I don't think we will be having any more babies, I don't want to go through another pregnancy where I worry, plus after my last c-section I would be worried about the scar tissue as the surgeon said it seems I had an infection after my first section, so looking back on these bump shots is very bittersweet for me.  It makes me feel nostalgic to think that I won't feel another one of my babies kicking me on the inside, a truly special feeling that only you know about.  

However I now get cuddles on the outside.  And that is a million times better.  

I am so grateful to my body for growing these miracles.

I will treasure my bump photos forever.

Pregnancy is a truly incredible thing.

(My full bump diary posts and pregnancy posts are here.)

 

 

The Story Of My Little Lady...

on Monday, 18 February 2013.

On the 11th February 2013 I awoke with an excited and terribly nervous feeling in my tummy.  Today was the day we were going to meet our new little lady.  We got ready, dropped Mads off at her Grandmas and headed over to the hospital for 8am.

We arrived on labour ward and booked in with the midwives.  They took us to a two bay room where there was already another couple in there.  We knew that two c-sections were taking place that day, and it was luck of the draw as to which one was first so we silently kicked ourselves that we hadn't arrived before them!

There was a lot of waiting around in the morning, the consultant was late because of a car accident on the motorway, so we nervously paced up and down our little bay, not quite relaxing enough to read a magazine or even talk properly.  We found out that we were indeed correct and that we were scheduled in second.  We heard the couple next door get ready, and go down to theatre ready to meet their baby.  Their section took quite a while and eventually at around midday they arrived back in the room with their baby in their arms.  

By this point I was incredibly nervous and they began discussing the section in graphic detail which didn't really help!  I put on my gown and Mr E put on his scrubs and the midwife came and got us to walk us down to theatre.

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Last bump shot!

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Mr E playing doctor!

The walk down to theatre was incredibly nerve racking and walking in there to be suddenly surrounded by people in scrubs is quite a surreal experience.

I was made to sit on the bed while the anaethetist put a local anaesthetic into my hand.  He then went to put in a cannula and he couldn't get it in so managed to spray blood everywhere.  He was getting them in but they weren't staying so he kept taking them out and it was making me feel more and more dizzy.  He tried a few attempts on each different arm before saying that all was fine and it was in.

They then sprayed my back with freezing cold water and put another local anaesthetic into my spine.  It didn't hurt as much as the cannula.  I then had to sit forward with my head on my chest so he could put the spinal into my back.  He put it in once and again had to take it out again and try again in a different place which was making me feel quite nervous.  Eventually he got it in and I had to lie down on the bed.  By this point the room was awash with people getting on with different things., all the while chatting to us and making us feel at ease.  

The anaesthetist kept fussing over my cannula and I heard something about 'vein tissuing' which made me feel sick and before I knew it they were taking it out again and putting it in the other arm, all the while fussing over it.  It tipped me over the edge and I started to feel really sick and dizzy.  They gave me an oxygen mask to breathe into and the surgeons got to work, the blue screen covering me so we couldn't see anything.

I just kept feeling so sick so the anaesthetist kept giving me anti sickness drugs but they weren't working, and eventually Mr E had to hold a bowl down to the side so I could be sick into it.  I felt really funny and no where near as relaxed as I was last time during my c-section with Mads.

The inital cutting took a lot longer as I had some more scar tissue and I was getting more and more on edge.  Eventually we heard them suctioning my waters which we knew from last time meant they were nearly ready.

They really had to pull her out and were frantically tugging for ages, before shouting 'forceps' which again scared me as I didn't realise they needed forceps for c-section deliveries.  The assisting staff, especially one lady were lovely though and kept telling me not to worry and she would be here any minute.  

And then just like that we heard it.  The most magical sound.  Her gurgling cry, just once at first quietly, before getting louder and louder as she took her first breaths in the world.  I burst into tears- I didn't cry with Mads apart from a couple of tears but I think that it was just complete and utter relief that another of my babies had arrived safely into the world.

The little lady that I had been thinking about every single day was here.

The midwife held her up for me to see before taking her over to the other side of the room to check her over.  Mr E was allowed to go over there and watch before coming back with her to cuddle.

Both times he has got to cuddle our babies before me, but I wouldn't have it any other way. There is something so magical to me about lying in that operating theatre with all the activity going on around me, and just watching Mr E cuddle the little person I have prayed for every single night for nine months.  It is like an out of body experience and a completely surreal moment.

My husband and our babies.

The surgeons delivered my placenta and the midwife said that it was huge, just like it had been with Mads.  Our Little Lady went to be weighed, have her cord clamped etc, and Mr E got some wonderful photos that just like with Mads are just a bit too personal to share.  I lay there feeling on a complete high and just took every single second in.  I could half see what the surgeons were doing in the big theatre light above me so that was a little bit off putting.

And then it was time for our first cuddle and it was most definitely worth the wait.  I of course felt instant love with Mads but when they handed me this little lady the love I felt for her took my breath away.  I felt more in control, less nervous and just completely head over heels in love with both my girls.

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Eventually I was all stitched up although it took a good half an hour, it turns out I had lost a litre of blood which means I am on iron tablets for the considerable future.  They also put a catheter in too.  They transfered me from the operating table to my bed and then placed our little lady on my chest ready to transfer us back to recovery.

She was a lot calmer than Mads who screamed pretty much non stop for the first hour, in fact she just seemed to be taking it all in.  Her tiny little bluey black eyes, still with gunk in them, stared and blinked frantically at me.  She was staring at me and I was staring at her, she looking at her mama and me looking at the little girl who had just instantly captured my heart.  We were sizing each other up, soaking each other in.

We went on to recovery where we took turns in cuddling her, and attempting a bit of skin to skin before I eventually tried to breastfeed her for the first time, she didn't instantly latch on but we got there in the end having a few tiny little sucks.

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First feed.

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Mr E bought both our girls a rabbit on the day they were born- a special toy from their Daddy-  here she is with hers.

 

We eventually after a few hours of observations and the most incredible toast of my life, got transferred to the post natal ward.  I was on a bay with the lady who had been in the previous bay with me.  She was harmless enough but not really my type of person and she kept chatting to me, however when you are feeling a bit lonely at 4am, anyone chatting to you is nice.  She did however snore really loudly which was so frustrating.  

We stayed in hospital for two nights and I found it a lot more bearable than last time, although I hardly got a wink of sleep, even though she slept lots in the first two days!  On Tuesday night Mads came to visit and blew us away with how caring, kind and loving she was towards her little sister.  

But that is a whole different story...

And just like that, the little girl that we had been waiting nine long months for, finally arrived in the world.

At 12.52 on Monday 11th February our little lady arrived, and promptly stole the remaining bits left in my heart.  

We were no longer a three but a four.  And it couldn't have felt more right.

 

Welcome To The World...

on Thursday, 14 February 2013.

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She's here!

Our beautiful little lady arrived on Monday by c-section.

It all went well, and I will no doubt write my birth story shortly.

Our two girls met on Tuesday, and Mads blew us away with her incredibly beautiful nature and her instant love for her little sister.

We came home on Wednesday afternoon and have been enjoying the time together as a family of four, with the obvious extreme tiredness that comes with a newborn as well.

More photos to follow but in the meantime I need some sleep!

 

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