Articles tagged with: Relationships

4 Years.

on Friday, 20 December 2013.


(Us- taking horrendous 'selfies' since 2005.)


On this day four years ago I married my best friend.  

1461 days as Man and Wife.

That day was the best day of my life bar the days our little ladies were born. A Christmas wedding,  with snow on the ground, and lots of twinkly fairy lights.  An intimate ceremony, with 35 of the people we love most in the world, followed by a Christmas party with 100 people we are lucky enough to call our friends and family.

I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Exactly a year and four days later Mads arrived in our lives.  And twenty six months later so did our littlest girl.  It's been a whirlwind few years.

Our relationship has changed since having our girls.  We don't have as much time for each other, we are constantly tired, we bicker more, we rarely spend any time alone and our main focus is raising our daughters.  

But we are closer.  We are a family.  We are ordinary, but we are happy.

I am so lucky to have my husband.  I am so, so proud of him, of us, and I know that he does a huge amount for us.  I couldn't have asked for a better man to raise my girls with.  He cooks, he comes home from work and runs me a bath so I can have a little relax, or he will bring home chocolate (always good) or send me happy texts.  He is the most caring and kind man I have ever met.  Even if he can't quite put the toilet roll in the bin when it is finished.    

The below video is my favourite part of our wedding day, our last dance, which we requested to be Take Thats 'Never Forget'.  We didn't have a videographer, instead friends and family picked up the camera and videoed snippets of our day for us.  There are lots of funny bits, like video 'selfies', random conversations and drunken dancing that we just wouldn't have got if we had a videographer, although the footage is a little shaky!

We still don't know who actually was holding the camera during this song, all we know is that they obviously had one too many drinks and couldn't hold it still, but I am so thankful that they did pick up the camera at this point.  I love the fact that no one knows they are filming.  

 It sums up our whole wedding day- everyone was a little bit tipsy (p*ssed) as it was the end of the night and only a hardcore few were still up dancing.  I start crying halfway through because I knew our day was coming to an end and the emotions of such a special day just got the better of me.  I had had a fair few glasses of fizz at this point in my defence.  

It's blurry, shaky, and cuts out half way through the very last song which was 'Fairytale of New York.' (My favourite Christmas song and one which we didn't realise was going to be played.)  I was also mortified because everyone got in a circle and held hands and made us dance in the middle.  I hate being the centre of attention, and had just about got through our first dance, only to have to do another one.  


It's imperfect but it's happy.

Which I guess kind of sums up our marriage.


Happy Anniversary Mr E.  Here is to another four years.  And hopefully many more after that.


  NB:  I can't dance to save my life.  Sorry about that.





on Thursday, 20 December 2012.

This time exactly three years ago, I awoke to a freezing yet beautifully sunny day. You know the ones, where the air is cold and crisp, but the sunny is shining and there isn't a cloud in the sky.  There was also a thick white blanket of snow covering the ground.

It was my last morning waking up as a Miss, and I celebrated it in style with breakfast in bed and bucks fizz with three of my closest friends.

Later that day I became a Mrs, and a wife to my wonderful partner.

Today we have been married three years and I love him even more than the day I said I do.

Our life has changed dramatically.  We have gone from a couple who spent all our money on drinking and eating out, living in Leeds and London, to home owners with a mortgage and other outgoings.  We have matured and grown up with one another.

A year and four days after our wedding we got the best Christmas present ever in the form of Mads who was born on Christmas Eve 2010.  Soon our twosome became a three.

Being parents has changed us again- we don't have the money to treat ourselves like we used to, and we don't have the time together doing what we used to.  Instead we have quality time as a family, learning new things and creating memories as a three.  We bicker about silly things more, but at the same time we have created a person who is a part of both of us and that is an incredible thing.

In February we will become a four- I still can't quite believe that the same man I used to go out and down jagermeisters with is now the father to my children.  The same man whose hand I shook that day I went for the part time bar interview- little did I know then that I would hold those hands pretty much every day for the rest of my life.  Life has changed, but it most certainly has changed for the better.  And we still get to down jagermeisters, just very rarely nowadays.

Mr E has been a part of my life for eight years now, from when we were friends living together in our little flat together in Leeds, and there is not a single day that has gone by where I haven't spoken to him.

I know everyone says their husbands are the best, but I truly believe mine is, for me at least.  He doesn't have a selfish bone in his body and is the most selfless person I know. He would do anything for anyone, and especially for me and Mads.  He supports us, looks after us, gets Mads ready every morning, gets her to bed at night most evenings, cooks for us, helps me with the cleaning, and works so hard to provide for our future.  I am so incredibly proud of him, and so proud to call him my husband.  He always treats me, not necessarily with presents as much nowadays, but with hot baths filled with bubbles and candles, and a little card with meaningful words to show he cares.  The way he is with our little girl melts my heart, he would do anything for her and is so hands on with her.  Even when I was breastfeeding her, he would wake up on the night feeds just so I didn't feel lonely.

He can be grumpy, he uses the last of the toilet roll and instead of putting it in the bin he chucks it on the bathroom floor, and he seems to think our bedroom floor is his wardrobe, but he is one of a kind, incredibly thoughtful and I thank god every day I went into that bar on that sunny lunchtime all those years ago.

Happy 3rd wedding anniversary to my Mr E, I love you.  Thank you for being the best.


My Little Love Story- Part Four- Just Friends?

on Wednesday, 15 February 2012.

Read Part One- The Day We Met- here.

Read Part Two- Getting To Know Each Other- here.

Read Part Three- Moving In- here.

After that night in which Mr E saw me kissing someone else, something in our friendship changed.  I ended up starting a relationship with the guy I worked with and I know that it upset Mr E a lot, but although I cared for him greatly I still didn't see him in that way.  Or rather maybe deep down I did but I know I didn't want to ruin our friendship.  Who knows.

We were still great friends, and we still lived together, but we didn't see as much of each other.  We still saw each other every day at work but a lot of the time in the evenings I was with my new boyfriend and Mr E was round at friends so there wasn't as much time for our cosy nights in.  Whenever we were together we had a great time still, and as my new boyfriend worked in the same bar, Mr E would make our shifts separate so he still got to spend time with me.  Cheeky but a perk of being the boss I guess.

He still used to say things about how we should be together and how much he liked me, but I got to the point where it was almost a bit of a joke and he would never have done anything while I was with someone else- not that he had ever tried anything before anyway.  However I probably should have stopped flirting with him, but I couldn't as that was a huge part of our friendship and our banter.  Still, we settled into a degree of normality, I was with someone else and that was it.  

There was a still huge part of me that was desperate to know what Mr E was doing- my boyfriend was a really nice guy but it got to the stage when I was with him that I wanted to be with Mr E- not in a relationship sense, but just because I enjoyed spending time with him- I would rather have gone out and chilled out with him as we had so much fun.  Looking back all the signs were there, but in my head I just liked him as a very good friend.

This friendship setup carried on for a few months before it was time for us to think about renewing our lease on our flat again.  My boyfriend knew how Mr E felt about me, so was a little funny about me extending it out for another six months.  This was understandable really and so we decided that we would move in together in a new flat and see how it worked out between us.  My relationship with him was a strange one, we were more like friends than anything else.  All my girl friends used to say that I obviously had feelings for Mr E and that I should just admit it to myself but I was so stubborn that I always refused point blank that I thought of him anything more than a good friend.

Around this time I had to go home back to Cambridgeshire for a few days as I had some bad news and needed to be with my family.  On the day I left I went into Mr E's room and got quite upset in his arms- I don't know what happened but he tried to kiss me.  I have no idea why he did it as in almost two years he had never ever tried anything like that before, I think it is because he was trying to comfort me.  We both ended up pulling away after less than a second and I left to walk to my car with tears streaming down my face.  I just didn't know what to think and I was so confused.

 I left quite quickly to get home to Cambridgeshire with my room a complete mess.  My boyfriend came to visit me at home and I remember my Mum saying that he seemed a nice guy but not really my type.  On returning to Leeds I remember being so excited to see Mr E and I walked into my bedroom to find that it had been completely tidied and filled with flowers.  Mr E had done it for me as a surprise to cheer me up when I got back.  I remember crying that someone could do something so thoughtful when I was feeling so low.  

I remember a little while later going into work one day and finding two of the chefs that worked there gossiping about something.  On asking what they were talking about they told me that Mr had been out the previous evening on a date with a friend of a friend.  I didn't know the girl but when Mr E came into work he giggled along with the rest of us and said that he quite fancied her and would probably see her again.

With all that was going on, our 'almost' kiss was forgotten about and we didn't speak of it again.  However one day I came home to find a letter from Mr E.  I have kept it to this day, as I have every single card, note and letter he has ever given me.  The letter was long but here are a few snippets.

This has probably been the hardest letter I have ever had to write.  I know you are going through a horrible time at the moment and regardless of what I say in this letter I will always be there for you, always, but I have to do this for me, I have to get my life back on track.  For the last six months, I have not let anyone get close to me in the hope that I could be with you.  I realise now that this is not going to happen, at least not anytime soon so it is time for me to move on. I have even tried telling myself that I am over you, god I have even lied to myself that I am over you in the hope that I would convince myself.  This is crazy I am typing and my fingers are just shaking.'

The gist of the letter was that he had allowed himself to get too close to me when I was with somebody else and that although he would always be my friend, he needed to stop getting so involved in me.  He said that the fact we were moving out of our flat was a good thing and that we would be stronger as a result.

I read that letter and sobbed.  I had so many emotions going through my head and I was so confused.  In my head I thought that I didn't think of him in that way yet my heart was saying that if I was getting so upset I must do.  I kept thinking it was because we were moving out and things wouldn't be the same.  Here I was, about to move in with my boyfriend and all I could think about was Mr E.  We had signed the rental agreement, Mr E was in the process of buying his own house and was starting to see a new girl.  The timing couldn't have been worse and I felt so scared.  

We packed our things up and on the day that we were due to give the keys back, we sat on the edge of my bed and Mr E hugged me and I just cried.  Here I was, supposed to be excited that I was moving in with my boyfriend, but all I could think about was how much I would miss living with Mr E and how our friendship would never be the same again...


You Are My Happy.

on Saturday, 04 February 2012.


I love you Mr E.  Thanks for being the bestest.


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