26 Months....And A Big Sister...

My Dearest Mads,

Another month has passed and I am sat here writing you your twenty six month letter.  I can't believe another month has gone by, time seems to be going so quickly.  This month has most certainly been a milestone for you- it is the month you became a big sister.

On the 11th February I kissed you goodbye as you ran into Grandma's house, excited to start your day together.  As I kissed you, I burst into tears, and you said 'What's wrong Mummy,' your little face full of concern.  You were no longer going to be my one and only, in a few hours we would have another daughter to look after, love and cherish.  And while I was incredibly excited to meet your little sister, at the same time I wanted to freeze time and have you as my only baby for just a little while longer.

But I couldn't do that.  So I kissed your little face, and walked crying back down the drive.  A few hours later and your little sister was born.  And I loved her instantly, just like I did you.  But this time, the first time I held her, I not only took every inch of her in, I also thought about you- my big girl waiting at home.

The next day you came to meet her and I couldn't have pictured a more perfect scene.  I heard you before I saw you, your little grey boots stomping down the corridor, and then like a whirlwind you arrived, your little head poking out from behind the cubicle curtain.  And just like that before you even said hello you shouted your little sister's name and ran over to her cot, clutching a present for her that you had bought with Auntie Emma.  

And you cuddled her, and kissed her, stroked her face and played with her ear.  And just like that I fell in love with you even more.  If that was possible.  My caring, affectionate, lovely and beautiful big girl.  You made me more proud than a Mama could ever possibly be and I thank you for that moment, I will treasure it forever.

LL has been in our lives two weeks now and you continue to make me proud.  You have adjusted so well to her being here, you continue to be caring and kind, and you continue to love your sister so.  You giggle when she hiccups, you constantly ask to 'hold it' (even though we have told you numerous times that it is hold 'her!') and you stroke and play with her little ear.  

You have had a couple of days where you have played up a bit, or been a bit hyper, or been a bit more teary than normal, but on the whole you have been incredible.  

Next week is the first week that I haven't had any help and I am so nervous about having you both on my own.  I know I will cope with it just fine, but the person I am most worried about is you.  You and Daddy have been even more close the past two weeks, and I worry about giving you the attention and love you deserve when we are all on our own together, especially when I am confined to the sofa feeding LL.  I know we will work it out just fine, but I can't help but already feel guilty that I am not spending as much time with you as I used too.

I want you to know how much I love you, and how proud I am of you for being the worlds best big sister.  I know that you will have to share my love a bit more now, but you need not worry- since having LL the love I have for you has grown even more.  You are an incredible little girl.

Mummy loves you more than anything in the world.  But as always you already knew that.

Mummy

xx