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Bad Dreams...

on Tuesday, 29 May 2012.

Do you ever have one of those dreams that you just can't stop thinking about?  

On Saturday night I have a vague recollection of sitting bolt upright in bed.  

Apparently Mr E said that I shouted 'S*it S*it Mads has gone,' although I don't remember any of this.

Mr E tried to calm me down and told me not to worry, that Mads was safe in bed and it was the middle of the night.

Apparently I lay against him and he had to hold my shoulders because I was shaking so much.  And I started crying.

Eventually I fell back to sleep.  The weird thing is I don't ever really sleep talk and I don't remember any of it at all bar sitting bolt upright in bed and then at the end I remember Mr E cuddling me.  I woke up this morning with puffy eyes so I must have cried a fair bit.

I have been thinking about my 'dream' all day.  Isn't it weird what a psychological affect they have on you?  

I have always had nightmares.  I don't know what it is, I think I have an overactive imagination but when I was young I used to get the most terrifying nightmares.  Even now, as an adult, I still go through a phase of waking up in the night feeling so scared as I have had a bad dream.  It will then take me ages to get back to sleep.  I used to have a reoccuring dream as a child of a man just standing on our landing just staring into my bedroom, he had black gloves on, and he didn't move an inch.  Just stared.  Then he slowly started to walk towards my room.  I would always wake up before he got to me.

I don't know why but I have always suffered with them. This is the first time my lovely little girl has featured in them though. 

I look at Mads and the thought of anything bad happening to her is too unbearable to comprehend.  I know I mention this a lot, but at the moment I am basking in her innocence.

Last weekend has been spent making the most simple memories.  We huffed and puffed at dandelions, we slid down slides and we splashed in paddling pools.  We had our first BBQ of the summer, and we lay on a picnic blanket in the sun and discussed how good life was.  How lucky we are.

My sleep may be affected by nightmares...but my reality is anything but.

 

dreamtogether

Quote by John Lennon.

Comments (18)

  • would like to be a yummy mummy

    would like to be a yummy mummy

    29 May 2012 at 11:32 |
    Aaaahh poor you, bad dreams are horrible and I cant imagine anything worse than losing a child. Glad you are all ok thoughxx
    • Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      05 June 2012 at 08:53 |
      You are right, they are horrible and do make you think about them for ages after. x
  • Emma The Mini Mes and Me

    Emma The Mini Mes and Me

    29 May 2012 at 12:02 |
    I don't really remember having many nightmares as a child but as an adult I have a fair few and I suffer from panic attacks at times. I think with parenthood and responsibility comes fear and even when we are awake and everything is wonderful we still worry inside about the loss of loved ones and the 'what if'.

    It may not help but when I do have a bad dream I always turn my pillow over and see it as a way of getting rid of the bad nightmare to start a fresh dream (perhaps a little odd but that's me!). Maybe give it a go x
    • Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      05 June 2012 at 08:53 |
      Thats a good idea- I may have to try that! Thanks! x
  • Crystal Jigsaw

    Crystal Jigsaw

    29 May 2012 at 14:41 |
    I know there's usually a meaning behind dreams but I do think many dreams are just a consequence of what we have been thinking during the day, or previous days. They're a mish mash of our thoughts. A recurring dream could be something you've been thinking about for a while but haven't wanted to talk about.

    I sometimes wake up with puffy eyes and have often recollected the dream, that has usually involved my late father.

    Hope you get a better night tonight.
    CJ x
    • Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      05 June 2012 at 21:25 |
      Thank you for your comment- I agree with you, I hate seeing all these dream books that say if you dream about 'horses' you are going to come in to money! What a load of tripe! x
  • Vikki

    Vikki

    29 May 2012 at 19:10 |
    Aw I hate those kind if dreams, I had terrible ones when Riley was in hospital but they've settled down a bit now. xxx gorgeous pic of you and Mads though xxx
    • Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      05 June 2012 at 21:26 |
      Thanks Vikki, and it is horrible having bad dreams. x
  • The Mummy Adventure

    The Mummy Adventure

    29 May 2012 at 22:20 |
    I think the worst part of being a parent is the constant worrying about them. No more cheese before bed for you!
    • Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      05 June 2012 at 21:26 |
      Very true- it is definitely time to stop eating cheese! x
  • Kara

    Kara

    30 May 2012 at 09:50 |
    Hugs lovely, I have terrible night terrors and unfortunately since having the kiddo's they are frequently about them, I can feel sick and worried for days. You are an amazing Mama and thats why you panic, beautiful picture x
    • Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      05 June 2012 at 21:27 |
      Thanks Kara, and it is a lot more since having Mads. x
  • Kate

    Kate

    30 May 2012 at 09:58 |
    Oh hun :-( that sounds awful. I do think that our dreams are something to do with our subconscious. I always used to have nightmares. Not so much now - thankfully. But I do tend to have more thought provoking dreams and wake up utter exhausted and breathless from them (no I haven't been dreaming about Mr. tweeter ;-) lol) I hope you don't have another bad dream like this for a long time sweetie *hugs* xx
    • Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      05 June 2012 at 21:28 |
      Thanks Kate. xx
  • Susan Mann (@susankmann)

    Susan Mann (@susankmann)

    30 May 2012 at 10:35 |
    Hugs, I have a lot of bad dreams and it's scary when they feel like reality xx
    • Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

      05 June 2012 at 21:28 |
      They are horrible aren't they. :(
  • Laura

    Laura

    30 May 2012 at 21:38 |
    It is so surreal when the things you do while asleep cross over and can be witnessed by those sleeping beside you. Luke is a real sleep talker and we have caught some of his sayings on the iPhone...Some of them I have heard are really scary. He often makes me jump by sleep shouting!

    I hope the dreams stay at bay and don't torment you too much. There is nothing more worrying than something happening to our babies x
  • Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

    Mummy Daddy and Me makes Three

    05 June 2012 at 21:29 |
    Yikes sleep talking is really scary- I bet it is funny sometimes though! x

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