Being A Mummy To Two.

on Monday, 11 March 2013.

I have been a Mummy of two for exactly four weeks now. Exactly four weeks ago today I drove to the hospital with Mr E, and at 12.52 our beautiful little lady was born.

While I was pregnant I had a lot of nervous excitement and apprehension about what being a Mummy to two would be like. My heart was full of love for Mads and I couldn't possibly imagine there being enough space for another little person. Would I love her any less than Mads? Would it be tough being a Mummy to two? Would I ever get a moment to myself? How would I logistically juggle two if both were crying at the same time?

I nervously waited to hear LL's first cry. When they pulled her out of me and I heard her gurgly, mucousy first wail, I breathed a sigh of relief. And when they put her in my arms for the first time, my heart instantly expanded as I felt an overwhelming amount of love for her. In many ways, the love was stronger than when I first had Mads as I felt more confident and able as a Mummy, and also because I truly felt like our family was complete.

Now the first couple of weeks have passed, I can't believe my luck. I keep having to pinch myself that it is real and that I do indeed really have two beautiful girls. I need not have worried about having enough love to go round, I just instantly fell in love with this little person.

Watching Mads with her little sister has made my love for her grow even stronger. I am immensely proud of the way she has adjusted to having to share us- not once has she shown even an ounce of jealousy towards LL. She cuddles her, kisses her, constantly asks to play with her ear, and always goes to see her when she is lying in her moses basket. I cannot wait to see their bond develop, grow and strengthen with time. That excites me more than anything else.

caringbigsister

Of course it isn't always easy. Both myself and Mr E are very tired, all part and parcel of having a newborn who is unsettled with wind and adjusting to life in her new world. I really hope that LL's wind problems pass soon as she has some moments of crying and distress that are hard on all of us. There have been times when I have lost my patience with Mads quicker than I would have done before due to being tired, and then I always feel so incredibly guilty.

Sometimes when Mads is in hyper mode and LL is crying and unsettled, I just want to burst into tears and go and hide in the car. I wonder when I will ever have a proper nights sleep again, and I do worry about the logistics of going out for lunch with friends and days out with the two of them when I can drive again after my c-section. Occasionally I feel like I am confined to the sofa feeding LL and I just want to play with Mads, but luckily she has always played so well on her own, or she is happy to cuddle up next to us.

Life needs to be more organised than it was, I don't get much chance to relax in the evenings as LL is still downstairs with us until we go to bed, and the washing machine is constantly on due to an immense amount of baby projectile vomiting.

But through all the crying, sleepless nights and extreme exhaustion, I have this incredible feeling of utter joy. That the dark circles, stained vomity clothes and fluctuating hormones are one hundred percent worth it. I get to experience the gorgeous newborn days again, but with the added extra of knowing what I am doing. Of knowing that it doesn't last forever and to relish every single curled up, snuggly cuddle. Of knowing that the sleepless nights will all soon all just be a blur.

Of having the privilege of watching these two wonderful girls grow. And of knowing in my heart that they will be the best of friends.

beingamummytotwo

A good friend of mine once said to me that having two children is hard work, but not double the hard work. But it is double the amount of joy.

And I have to agree.

I am walking around with this feeling of completeness. A hazy, exhausted feeling of capturing every single moment of this wonderful journey with these two beautiful little people I have helped create.

Of being a Mummy to two.

Tags: Being A Mummy To Two, Little Lady, Mads, Motherhood, Siblings

Comments (14)

Cathie

11 March 2013 at 07:56 | #

Congratulations to you all and this is a lovely blog. Stunning photos xxx
I wish you all the happiness in the world

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lucy at dear beautiful

11 March 2013 at 08:54 | #

Awwwww, what a gorgeous post hun, and gorgeous photos too. It's exactly how I felt a few months back; it's a mixture of pinching yourself with happiness, feeling utterly exhausted, wondering when it will get easier and also feeling so so lucky. It's an amazing thing parenting two little people. I'm so glad you're loving it, and not at all surprised! X

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Charlotte - Write Like No One's Watching

11 March 2013 at 09:33 | #

Oh those photographs are just gorgeous. This post is so lovely. I can't wait to experience that. What a special bond to watch grow. xx

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Brinabird

11 March 2013 at 10:59 | #

So lovely. I love what your friend said. You are making me feel all broody now. It's reassuring to know like lots of things with motherhood it is worth the journey.

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Coombemill

11 March 2013 at 12:26 | #

Lovely post and gorgeous matching girls, you even have time to match them and blog about it. Wonderful for everyone reading!

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Momma L

11 March 2013 at 12:51 | #

Glad you are all doing so well. You look so happy. V reassuring to know as I await my second little girls arrival in the next few weeks.

I am so anxious and feel so much guilt already to my toddler and worry about how she will cope. I wrote a letter to her last night after reading yours to Mads a few weeks ago when I post I will link to yours if you don't mind, to credit you.

I always end up crying through your posts as your family is so similar to ours.

Where are the adorable matching outfits from too please? L x

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Stephanie

11 March 2013 at 16:44 | #

I love reading about your journey with two little ones! I often wonder what it would be like to have another baby. In fact, you kind of make me want to have another on right now, haha! Even with the extra work, I can see how it would definitely be "double to amount of joy." I love the photo of your girls together and their adorable matching outfits! I love Mads' Peppa shirt too!

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Lauren

11 March 2013 at 19:50 | #

This is a really lovely and truthful post. It is hard sometimes, and we all get that guilty feeling when we lose our temper a little (or a lot) due to stress, tiredness etc.
I love the photo of your girls in their matching outfits. So adorable.
LL looks so much like Mr E in that photo xx
(how fast have those 4 weeks gone?!)

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Xandi @ The Mummy Scripts

11 March 2013 at 20:25 | #

Gorgeous photos as always. What a sweet big sister Mads is bing, so grown up! They will probably be best of friends which will be wonderful to watch, all the tough newborn stuff will seem worlds away soon x

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Mum2BabyInsomniac

11 March 2013 at 20:35 | #

Wow four weeks! I can't really comment as have no idea what it's like yet but I don't think it will be long before I do! Gorge pics as always xx

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Bex @ The Mummy Adventure

11 March 2013 at 20:45 | #

Lovely photos, I still need to get the boys a matching outfit! I know exactly how you feel of course and it is great to have someone else on the same journey! x

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jenny paulin

11 March 2013 at 21:25 | #

it is a shock having two little ones - well a newborn and a toddler. so tiring and emotional and all those pangs of love, guilt, apprehension and extreme tiredness made it hard. as far as going out on your own with the two of them, i was not very good and certainly didnt rush into it. yes i visited our families on my own but it took me a few months until i had the confidence to go to a playgroup on my own with them. i just lacked confidence.
beautiful photos and a lovely read which i can so relate too. it will get easier but I found it was a balancing act most of the time for a long time x x

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Notmyyearoff

11 March 2013 at 21:33 | #

I'm so glad you said that about the instant love for LL. I worry about exactly this with our second, will I have enough love, will it be the same etc. I remember the first 6 weeks being the hardest because I couldn't drive and I felt isolated because I felt I didn't have that freedom. I hope you get lots more sleep v v soon and the freedom to travel again will make it all feel a bit easier for you xx

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Kara

12 March 2013 at 16:16 | #

I love the fact you have been honest in this post, I sometimes think as bloggers it is difficult for us to be this way for fear of being judged, I to sit outside the living room door sometimes close to tears when they are having bad days, but I agree with Lucy it is not double the work but certainly double the pleasure.
Beautiful pic of them in matching outfits xxx

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