We Are Done.
My second little lady arrived into the world just six short weeks ago but already it has started. In fact it had started before I had even left the hospital.
'When are you going to have another one?' 'So when's the third arriving then?' 'Will we be seeing you in labour ward again?'
Already people are asking us if we are going to have another baby, or when we are thinking about having the next addition to our family. The ink on LL's birth certificate is hardly even dry yet.
The thing is we are 99% sure we won't. I admire these families that have three, four or even more children but I have always imagined two in our little family. It means we can enjoy them, not have to upgrade things like our car or house, and hopefully be able to treat them to lots of holidays and days out as they are growing up without worrying too much about our finances. I am sure we could do that with three, but for some reason two just seems to fit for us.
We feel complete.
I also feel blessed to have had two healthy, happy pregnancies. I fell pregnant quickly with both, I haven't had to suffer the awful pain of a miscarriage like many other ladies and I suffered no real pregnancy complications. I know that many women go on to have three or four c-sections but the last section took a lot longer due to scar tissue and infection, and I would be worried about the impact of my scar on subsequent pregnancies. I just feel so incredibly lucky to have had no problems.
Mr E feels the same. We just feel like four is the perfect number. A nice even number for our family.
Yet with every single person who asks 'When are you going to have another?' Or 'Are you done now?' it makes me feel a little sad. I can't imagine not going through the newborn stage again, or experiencing that mind blowingly amazing feeling of hearing that first cry and having that first cuddle.
My little lady is six weeks now and time is going so quickly. My scar is fading, the inital problems with feeding are behind us, and I have already had to pack away her first three newborn babygrows. She is growing before my eyes and while I know from experience with Mads that each stage is wonderful, this time feels even more bittersweet as I know that this is the last time I wlll have a newborn snuggled up on my chest, or enjoy those late night cuddles. It really pulls at my already hormonal heart strings.
I want to freeze time and keep LL at that tiny baby newborn stage forever. She is just beautiful, and soft and snuggly and I am enjoying every second of it. I feel more confident as a mother than I did with Mads, and I also have the added extra of experience and also of watching the bond develop between my girls. At 26 months and 6 weeks respectively my girls are just gorgeous together, I know that this will just get better and better as they get older. I hope they will grow up to be the best of friends.
I was talking to a friend yesterday and I was saying that already LL has grown out of her first babygrows and that I couldn't bear to take them out of the wardrobe yet. While I was still sad about packing Mads away as it meant my baby was growing quickly, this time it has a real air of finality about it and I just don't want the time to go too quickly. As I look down at her snuggled in her moses basket beside me, I just can see how already she looks bigger and is filling out. I got the first little smiles last week and every day she looks more alert.
That doesn't mean that I am going to let my broodiness take over and want to add a third addition to our family. Never say never but I really am 99% sure that two is perfect for us. And even if there was a slight chance that we would add a third baby to our family, we certainly aren't thinking about it six weeks after giving birth.
I just want to enjoy every single second with my beautiful girls.
I am 99% sure that our family is complete...
...and I couldn't feel any luckier.