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We Are Done.

on Tuesday, 26 March 2013.

My second little lady arrived into the world just six short weeks ago but already it has started.  In fact it had started before I had even left the hospital. 

'When are you going to have another one?'  'So when's the third arriving then?'  'Will we be seeing you in labour ward again?'

Already people are asking us if we are going to have another baby, or when we are thinking about having the next addition to our family.  The ink on LL's birth certificate is hardly even dry yet.  

The thing is we are 99% sure we won't.  I admire these families that have three, four or even more children but I have always imagined two in our little family.  It means we can enjoy them, not have to upgrade things like our car or house, and hopefully be able to treat them to lots of holidays and days out as they are growing up without worrying too much about our finances.  I am sure we could do that with three, but for some reason two just seems to fit for us.

We feel complete. 

I also feel blessed to have had two healthy, happy pregnancies.  I fell pregnant quickly with both, I haven't had to suffer the awful pain of a miscarriage like many other ladies and I suffered no real pregnancy complications.  I know that many women go on to have three or four c-sections but the last section took a lot longer due to scar tissue and infection, and I would be worried about the impact of my scar on subsequent pregnancies.  I just feel so incredibly lucky to have had no problems.

Mr E feels the same.  We just feel like four is the perfect number.  A nice even number for our family.

Yet with every single person who asks 'When are you going to have another?'  Or 'Are you done now?' it makes me feel a little sad.  I can't imagine not going through the newborn stage again, or experiencing that mind blowingly amazing feeling of hearing that first cry and having that first cuddle.

My little lady is six weeks now and time is going so quickly.  My scar is fading, the inital problems with feeding are behind us, and I have already had to pack away her first three newborn babygrows.  She is growing before my eyes and while I know from experience with Mads that each stage is wonderful, this time feels even more bittersweet as I know that this is the last time I wlll have a newborn snuggled up on my chest, or enjoy those late night cuddles.  It really pulls at my already hormonal heart strings.

I want to freeze time and keep LL at that tiny baby newborn stage forever.  She is just beautiful, and soft and snuggly and I am enjoying every second of it.  I feel more confident as a mother than I did with Mads, and I also have the added extra of experience and also of watching the bond develop between my girls.  At 26 months and 6 weeks respectively my girls are just gorgeous together, I know that this will just get better and better as they get older.  I hope they will grow up to be the best of friends.

I was talking to a friend yesterday and I was saying that already LL has grown out of her first babygrows and that I couldn't bear to take them out of the wardrobe yet.  While I was still sad about packing Mads away as it meant my baby was growing quickly, this time it has a real air of finality about it and I just don't want the time to go too quickly.  As I look down at her snuggled in her moses basket beside me, I just can see how already she looks bigger and is filling out.  I got the first little smiles last week and every day she looks more alert.

But...

That doesn't mean that I am going to let my broodiness take over and want to add a third addition to our family.  Never say never but I really am 99% sure that two is perfect for us.  And even if there was a slight chance that we would add a third baby to our family, we certainly aren't thinking about it six weeks after giving birth.  

I just want to enjoy every single second with my beautiful girls.

I am 99% sure that our family is complete...

 ...and I couldn't feel any luckier.

 

LLinheadbandnewborn

 

 

Comments (16)

  • lucy at dear beautiful

    lucy at dear beautiful

    26 March 2013 at 10:09 |
    A very wise lady told me that once you are finished having babies you just know. She said there is a complete feeling, and while you might still get broody, it's not about wanting more actual children in your family, but just about missing the baby days.
    It sounds to me like you are done. You seemed to feel you would be before LL even came along, and I think that complete feeling says it all really. X
  • Mum2BabyInsomniac

    Mum2BabyInsomniac

    26 March 2013 at 10:13 |
    I don't think we will be having anymore either for many of the same reasons as you, it already makes me feel a bit sad though as I know I will want to. In fact I am pretty sure my broodiness will get so bad that I will be desperate to have another one. But having said that if I was going to do it I would want to do it as soon as possible as I don't want to go too far into my 30's, can't see it happening though! Gorgeous pic xx
  • Blog of a Mom

    Blog of a Mom

    26 March 2013 at 10:24 |
    That must be really annoying when people are bugging you about it already.

    I think I would like 3, and its driving me mad that people are already saying 'you're going to have a break after this one aren't you' and 'you'll leave a bigger gap this time won't you?'. (There'll be a 17 month gap between my girls).

    I haven't had this baby yet so I really don't know myself yet and it bugs me that people push!! If we want 3 close in age like we think, or decide we don't want anymore its really none of anyone elses concern!!

    L x
  • Natasha

    Natasha

    26 March 2013 at 10:31 |
    Aww she is adorable congratulations!
    People say the strangest things don't they. Enjoy your lovely little ones :) x
  • Kara

    Kara

    26 March 2013 at 14:44 |
    I think it is sad people are putting you in that position, Ash and I always wanted 4, yes it's totally crazy as we surely can't afford it but we come from big families and it made sense to us. After Grayson was born and his problems arose people assumed I would have no more, when I told people I was pregnant with Addy I was met with so many very unkind comments, when we found out Addy was a girl again I was met with you have one of each now you should stop.
    I think you know when you are ready to stop, as a person, as a couple and a family. Sweetpea was never planned to be our last but I am really not sure, it has been hard on me physically and mentally, I think I will make that decision when I am ready. Enjoy your girls lovely, you are a perfect 4 xxx
  • Kat

    Kat

    26 March 2013 at 15:20 |
    we only want 2 as well! So I know this is (most likely) my last pregnancy and I swear people are already trying to pressure me into a third. Last I checked they weren't carrying or birthing or feeding or clothing my kids :)
  • Stephanie

    Stephanie

    26 March 2013 at 17:24 |
    What a darling photo of LL! I don't blame you for wanting to stop with 2 little ones. That's always been the number in my head, but now after having 1, I'm not 100% sure if I want to have another one, although I'd love for Rosen to have a sibling. I go back and forth every day. I guess it's a good thing that I feel fulfilled with just her, so another one would just be an added bonus. I love reading about your experience with 2 though! You have such an adorable family!
  • Bex @ The Mummy Adventure

    Bex @ The Mummy Adventure

    26 March 2013 at 19:58 |
    I am hoping that I will just know when I am done, but with a five week old I already know that I am not although I am not thinking about having a third quite yet! Your family is beautiful and your little girls will always have a playmate in each other x
  • Laura (@lovelyleosmummy)

    Laura (@lovelyleosmummy)

    26 March 2013 at 21:53 |
    Katie LL truly is beautiful, they both are! I think two is the perfect number. Like you said you can do more holidays and days out. I cannot believe LL is 6 weeks already! Where has the time gone??? xx
  • Laura (@lovelyleosmummy)

    Laura (@lovelyleosmummy)

    26 March 2013 at 21:56 |
    You have such a beautiful little family! I cannot believe that LL is 6 weeks already! Where has the time gone? I think two kiddlywinks is perfect, like you said there is so much you can to as a four xx
  • Lauren

    Lauren

    27 March 2013 at 07:31 |
    I'm struggling with this at the moment. We always said we wanted 2. No more, just 2 and I don't like that if we had 3 there would always be one left out.
    But I can't imagine not being pregnant again and not breastfeeding again and not snuggling with a new born.
    Beautiful photo of LL xx
  • Caroline

    Caroline

    27 March 2013 at 15:54 |
    It drives me nuts when people ask when you have a newborn 'Are you done?'. I know they are (mostly) well meaning but I wouldn't dream of asking anyone that question. A friend had her first baby recently and I warned her it was likely someone would ask, she laughed, but lo and behold someone did. I advised her to answer 'Am I done having sex? No I don't think so, not yet' ..........
    Beautiful pictures
  • Coombemill

    Coombemill

    27 March 2013 at 19:07 |
    I think 2 is perfect, it allows you to do lots that you can't with more, if you feel complete then go with your instincts and enjoy your lovely family.
  • Pinkoddy

    Pinkoddy

    28 March 2013 at 20:16 |
    I also was asked after the birth with my 3rd, My husband was happy to stop then but I felt cheated that I didn't know it would be my last. We tried literally one time and had our 4th boy. I still wish we had had more but glad my husband decided that we were complete. But yes we upgraded car and house and had lots of miscarriages.
    You sound like you have made your perfect family. Enjoy.
  • Emily

    Emily

    30 March 2013 at 16:42 |
    I was having this conversation with my Mum the other night, I said I was finished at 2 but think somewhere in my heart knew I wasn't as I never felt 'the end' as we passed Madam's baby days. Now I know I'm done at 4, I pack Fifi's baby clothes away with a little sadness but a happy and complete feeling. I still get a slightly broody feeling looking at new babies but it's no longer an ache for more.
    People asked us really quickly when we'd be having more, wonder why people do that - like you say with a 6wk old you're just enjoying the baby with another one usually the last thing on your mind. Looks like you've got the perfect complete set :) xx
  • Richmond Mummy

    Richmond Mummy

    02 April 2013 at 14:19 |
    Gorgeous pic of LL and I think it's great that you feel your little family is complete but isn't it crazy how people are asking you about baby number three already when she is only 6 weeks old!! People are odd sometimes! x

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