Fate. Your Destiny. An inevitable course of events. The development of events outside a persons control.
While I don’t necessarily believe in fate, I do often think about what would happen if you didn’t make certain choices in life. Maybe life would be very different.
Take today for example. I was in the car driving with Mads and just as we approached a roundabout the amber light came on at a traffic light. While you can still go through at this stage, I made the decision to slow down and wait for the red light. A couple of minutes later we carried on and we had to slow down for a prang that had just happened. I couldn’t help thinking that if we had gone through the lights would the collision have happened? Would we have been involved in it? Or would we have somehow stopped the cars from ploughing into each other? Although the accident wasn’t serious and was just a minor one, it still really got me thinking.
Everything that we do in our life, has consequences on ourselves and others.
I like to think that there was a course of events that made me meet Mr E. But in reality I was probably just ‘in the right place at the right time.’ If you really think about it though you can trace back over time and if you hadn’t have followed a certain path it would have meant that your life wouldn’t be what it was now.
On my very first night of university when I was just a tender eighteen years old, myself and my new flatmates went to our student union. We arrived in there and my room mate Claire realised she had left her wallet back at our halls. Being as we were new and didn’t really know where we were going I agreed to go back with her and get it. When we arrived back at the union, it was full to capacity and we weren’t allowed back in. We ended up wandering aimlessly around campus as we had no idea where we were or which direction any night life was. We decided to go one way and ended up bumping into a group of guys on a bridge. We stopped and asked them if they knew which way we should go and randomly one of them said ‘Do I know you?’ It turned out that I had spoken to him in a bar where I lived at home the weekend before I went to university. I didn’t even know his name. I didn’t know at the time when speaking to him he was also going to Leeds. We decided to go with them to the pub where they were walking too.
That guy ended up being my long term boyfriend. We were together nearly three years.
Fast forward a few years and the same friend and I (who by now was one of my best friends!) were deciding what to do with our day. Being typical students in our final year of university we decided to skip lectures and go for lunch in town. We randomly decided to go to a bar that we had never been to before as we had heard that they did great food. We sat down in the dining part but realised that you couldn’t smoke in the main room (these were the days when you could smoke indoors) so we went and sat in the bar area. By the window there was a sign saying that they were looking for part time bar staff. I didn’t really need a job and I wasn’t even looking for one but I decided to ask for an application form. The person who gave me the form was none other than my wonderful Mr E. They were interviewing people that night and I almost didn’t go back because I wasn’t in the mood, but I did, and I got the job. I worked then throughout the end of my final year. Randomly towards the end of the year my ex partner wanted to try again. I had the choice to move back home to Cambridgeshire or to stay in Leeds. I decided that it wouldn’t work to get back together so stayed in Leeds where I moved in with Mr E just as friends. Slowly over time we became so close and then eventually became a couple.
The rest they say is history. Six years later and that man who handed me the application form is my best friend, my husband and we now have our beautiful baby girl.
What if Claire hadn’t left her wallet at home and we had remained in the student union? I wouldn’t have met Rob, my ex partner. My university life would have been very different and I might not have been sat in the bar deciding to get the part time job.
What if Claire (who incidentally was my bridesmaid at my wedding) and I had gone to our lectures that day? I wouldn’t have seen the job advertised and therefore I would never have met Mr E. I wouldn’t be married to my best friend and have our wonderful daughter.
I know that it isn’t fate that bought us together but it is scary to think that the decisions you make shape your whole future. I know you could say that I may have met someone else and have a child with them but it doesn’t bear thinking about. I want Mr E and Mads, not another husband and child!
Whenever there is a tragedy stories often emerge about close encounters. There were the stories of people who were off work sick the day that the Twin Towers were hit. I remember hearing one about someone who missed their train who had they made it on time would have got into the train station under the World Trade Centre in time to be in the building for when the plane hit.
Similar stories emerged about the July 7th and many other high profile news stories. What kind of emotions must these people have felt knowing that things could have had an entirely different outcome for them?
Every day we make choices in our life that shape our future and the lives of those around us. While I don’t believe our life is set out for us, it is really interesting to think about what you would be doing now if you hadn’t made some of the choices you have done. Do you believe in fate?
All I can say is that I am so pleased that I went into that bar that day. Otherwise this blog wouldn’t exist and we wouldn’t be a family.