Read Part One- The Day We Met- here.
Read Part Two- Getting To Know Each Other- here.
Read Part Three- Moving In- here.
Read Part Four- Just Friends?- here.
Read Part Five- My New Life Without You- here.
Read Part Six- Secrets- here.
Read Part Seven- I Love You- here.
Read Part Eight- When You Realise- here.
Read Part Nine- Our New Little Home- here.
Read Part Ten- Our Big Day- here
‘Everybody’s free, Everybody’s free….to feel good.’ It was April 2010 and I was on my way to Bournemouth for a week long business trip. I can still remember singing to myself all the way down there in my hire car. As part of my job I used to have to go on business once a month for a week, where I would visit hotels and chat to them. Although I missed Mr E I used to love it, I got to stay in the best hotel suites, eat lots of yummy food and get lots of time to myself, although it was strange being on your own for all that time.
This particular Sunday was no exception until I was about half way to Bournemouth and I suddenly just felt really funny. I can’t really explain it and when I do I sound ridiculous, but I just felt something wasn’t right. As soon as I arrived in my hotel room I quickly got out two pregnancy tests that I had with me and sat down on the toilet.
I don’t even know what made me test. Impatience I guess. I wasn’t due on until the Tuesday and we had only been trying for a baby properly for a month, as the first couple of months my cycles were funny as I had come off the contraceptive pill. I did a wee, put the test on the side and paced around for a while, not thinking for one minute that it would actually be positive, but still having a tummy full of butterflies in case there was a chance it may be.
I went over to pick the test back up and there it was- two lines as clear as day. I had heard all these stories about if you test in the evening it is not so positive so I was completely astounded to see them there, as dark as anything. I can not explain the emotion I felt just then, I felt scared, fear, excitement, joy, amazement, nerves…everything just rolled into one. I did what any normal woman would do in these circumstances….I ran around the room whooping and I even had a little jump on the bed, like I used to do when I was little.
I was pregnant! We were pregnant. We were having a baby. I couldn’t quite believe it. But then I realised something. Here I was having only just arrived on a few day long business trip. I didn’t want to tell Mr E over the phone- that wasn’t special. I didn’t want to tell my Mum as I wanted Mr E to be the first person to know. So I decided that I would keep it a secret until I was back on Thursday.
Looking back it wasn’t my smartest plan but I am sure glad I did it. However it was absolutely torture not being able to tell him, we always speak to each other a couple of times a day and every time I rang I couldn’t mention it. It was so hard not being able to blurt it out and I almost blurted it out a few times…some how I managed it though. I spent all night each night on the computer, calculating my due date and reading all about babies. Finally the time came for me to come home on Thursday and I drove like a maniac down the M25.
When I got home Mr E was lying on the sofa. I burst in, gave him a cuddle and sat down on his lap. ‘I have something to tell you.’ I said it so seriously he looked terrified for a split second. ‘I am pregnant.’ By this point in my hysteria I had done about five pregnancy tests so I told him to close his eyes and I handed him the digital test with the words ‘pregnant.’ He looked in shock but eventually burst into tears and hugged me close. It took a little while to sink in I think as it was so soon after we had started trying. We then went for some lunch to celebrate.
My pregnancy went well. I loved my little bump growing and I took a photo every week to compare it too. I was very nervous in the beginning, like every pregnant lady is I am sure, but I must admit to googling every slight twinge or pain. I didn’t tell a soul apart from a couple of close friends and my Mum until after our 12 week scan. The scans were so amazing and we loved seeing our baby on the screen. We made the decision to find out what we were having but I was so sure we were having a boy that when we went to our 20 week scan and she said girl, I cried my eyes out in happiness. I would have been just as happy with a boy, but I was so unbelievably desperate to have a little girl.
I would love to say that Mr E was different when I was pregnant but he was exactly the same. Just as caring. Just as romantic. Just as wonderful. Like he always is. But he kissed my bump every day, talked to our growing baby and looked after me so well. One day I came home from work and he had completely decorated and sorted out our nursery- it looked amazing.
Our due date was 01.01.11 but from 20 weeks our little girl was breech. They kept saying to us that she would turn, that 97% of babies turned by the end of pregnancy. But each time they told us she was still upside down and I just had a feeling she wouldn’t turn. At 37 weeks we had a scan and we were told that due to the position she was in the only option my hospital would give us was an elective c-section.
The night before the birth of our little girl, the 23rd December, we went to the pub for a Christmas meal with my family as we knew that we wouldn’t be able to have Christmas dinner together that year. We had a lovely evening and that night Mr E and I cuddled in bed extra close, knowing that this was the last time it would just be the two of us.
The next day would be the beginning of a very new chapter…